Marion & Violet

Marion & Violet

On Friday Cheryl and I made a quick trip to Wyoming to visit with an old friend. The trip was short and had a specific focus: to visit with an old friend who has recently been placed in hospice. Our friend is Marion.

Marion and his wife Violet were older members in the congregation in Cody, Wyoming when we moved there to preach in 1990. Cheryl and I were both 30, had two kids, and were a long way from our homes. My parents lived in Tennessee and Cheryl’s in Florida. With two little kids, another one arriving two years later, and living over 40 hours away from family support, we welcomed the nuturing care provided by this couple.

Marion and Violet’s home became our home as well. We were welcomed there at any time for visits and meals. My kids knew where Violet kept the candy.

Marion was an avid hunter, and he taught me some of the skills needed to successfully navigate (and survive) the Rocky Mountains of Wyoming. Many times we returned to his home after spending hours in below zero weather to a hot pot of stew and coffee that Violet had prepared for us.

But we shared more than just simple fun times. Marion and Violet had decades of wisdom about marriage, surviving health crises, raising children, figuring out problems, and working with churches that they shared with us over the years. And Marion, an old Arkansas boy transplanted to Wyoming, was a storehouse of old-time southern wisdom.

Marion was very big on living with honor and integrity. You did the right thing simply because it was the right thing, not because you hoped for any reward. He shared with me that one of his greatest accomplishments in life was living with integrity in a situation that was stressful to him.

Truth was a big part of his honor and integrity system. He told me, "I used to have employees steal my construction equipment and materials. I didn’t like it, but I understood it. They may have been low on money and needed the tools or wood to work a job on the side. It was wrong to steal from me, but there was a rationale to it. But lying? There is no rationale to lying. It is the same as stealing, except you really don’t get anything for it. If you steal from me and get caught, you can give back what you stole. But if you lie to me or about me, how does that benefit you? And if you are caught, what can you return to make restitution or repair the relationship? Lying is just stupid and wrong. You can understand a thief; but a liar you can never trust again."


One more thing: Marion honored Violet. They had been married for 40 years or more when I first met them. Together they had raised two children and had four grandchildren. They survived health problems, financial stresses, church leadership pressures, and two major moves. In their 60s they moved miles from their home to spend their later years enjoying the mountains together and helping a small church. And through it all, they remained best friends. During our long drives over mountains and through valleys exploring the wonders of the Rocky Mountains, Marion and I would talk about life. And when the subject of marriage or wives came up, Marion always talked about Violet in appreciative terms, and praised her. Violet went to be with the Lord on Nov. 7, 2008. To the end, after 60+ years of marriage, they remained best friends.

Cheryl and I drove to Wyoming on Friday to visit with Marion. Gathered around him was his daughter, her son and daughter-in-law, his son and his wife, and numerous friends from his church. He was receiving the honor due a man who spent his life living with Christian character and living for his family, friends and church.

Our trip was short. We had to leave on Saturday. But I drove off thinking, "I hope my life counts for something worthwhile, like Marion’s has." We pay tribute to a good person when we sit by his/her side and ask, "Do you remember when ...?" But we pay even greater tribute when we try to emulate their lives.

Warren Baldwin

Men of Integrity

Men of Integrity

"The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old." Proverbs 20:29
Gray hair should be respected. The ancient perspective on gray hair, as reflected in Proverbs, is that it means someone has lived long and has accumulated wisdom along the way. Growing old means we lose physical strength and endurance, but it also means we gain something of even greater value: knowledge and insight about life and godly living. That is wisdom.

Young men are known for their physical prowess, ability and toughness. This is nowhere better observed than in the game of football. Young men in peak physical condition test their skill and strength like warriors in battle. I marvel at the hits receivers, linemen and quarterbacks receive, yet bounce back up to resume play. The glory of these young men is certainly in their strength and perseverance.

Danny Wuerffel is one man who tested his physical aptitude on the football field, and did so with remarkable ability. He led his Florida team to three SEC championships and won the Heisman Trophy in his senior year. Although never becoming a star at the next level of play, he did make it to the National Football League. Danny’s glory was in his strength.

But the story of his physical ability and toughness is only part of the story of Danny Wuerffel’s glory. Danny was invited by the Playboy organization to be a member of their all-America College preseason football team and a chance to be their Athlete of the Year. This honor would come with an all-expense-paid trip to a fancy resort and a photo-shoot with other college players named to the team.

While Danny may have regarded this invitation as an honor, he didn’t accept it. Commenting on his decision to decline the offer Danny said, "It didn’t take any thought at all. That’s not the type of person I’d want to portray myself as." He added, "My commitment is to represent God in all I do."

While the glory of a young man may be his physical conditioning and ability, there is a deeper strength that shines even brighter and lasts much longer: his character. Long after Danny has put down the football to pursue other interests in life, the story of his decision and the glory of his character lives on. I don’t remember his passing and touchdown statistics, but I do remember that he looked at an attractive offer, an opportunity for recognition and pleasure, and said, "No. That kind of attention in that kind of an environment is not what my life is about."

Young men need physical endurance to be healthy and to perform demanding tasks, especially if their work is in athletics or manual labor. But they need more than just the toning of their bodies to successfully perform at life. They need the toning of their hearts. Through instruction at home and church, they need their hearts developed to love God and pursue his way for their lives. The heart is the wellspring of life (Prov. 4:23). Through consistent teaching it can provide a lifetime of wholesome thoughts, pure behavior and moral fortitude. But if it is not painstakingly nurtured and cared for, instead of being moral and upright, the wellspring of his heart can become stagnant, even putrid and unholy. Instead of pursing a life of moral integrity, a man can become lost in the abundance of unwholesome sensual pleasures.

Mouths that erupt with vulgarity and unclean speech, eyes that are given to pornography, and behavior that is indecent, all point to a wellspring that is becoming polluted. In a young man there is still, prayerfully, time to intervene and make difference.

That’s why role models like Danny Wuerffel are so valuable, and why so many more are needed. He showed that physical strength and athletic achievement is not the ultimate glory for a young man. No, the real strength that matters is character. And when a young man with character gets his glorious gray hair, everyone will know it is a crown of honor and splendor (Prov. 16:31).

Integrity is what will enable us to be the kind of husbands and fathers our families need.

Warren Baldwin