Friday, November 20, 2009

My Husband Is My Brother in Christ First

"How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!"

Song of Solomon 4:10

One thing the Lord impressed upon my heart early in our marriage was to always remember that my husband was and is my brother in Christ first. Jim and I are God's children first. God then brought us together beautifully as husband and wife.

This true perspective of our relationships with God and each other brings an immediate reverence for God and for my husband. If I look at him only as "my husband", I can become entitled and self-righteous. Tapping my toe with hands on hips, I could begin to make selfish demands, spoken and unspoken. This is damaging. I genuinely love and respect my husband deeply, yet my sin nature can be destructive if my heart is not yielded to the Holy Spirit. I want to be the wise woman who builds her house, not the foolish one who tears it down with her own hands. "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." (Proverbs 14:1 NIV)

When my heart is postured according to God's alignment, I am humbled and thankful acknowledging that Jim is my precious brother in Christ first. Self-righteous entitlement falls away. I am more gracious, more merciful and readily able to speak the truth in love as Jim's wife, seeing him as God's son, my brother and my husband. I serve him with joy. My toes stop tapping and my hands go from being on my hips to hands outstretched to God.

When Jim is loving me as God's daughter, his sister in the Lord and his wife, his words are more gentle, he is able to compassionately point me to Jesus when I falter, and he more readily loves me as Christ loves the church.

Being brother and sister in Christ is a unique, beautiful and faithful foundation in a Christian marriage. As we desire to honor God with our marriages, let's remember that our spouse is our sibling in Christ first. As we care for our spouse and marriage as unto the Lord, He brings blessing, fruit and growth.

To read 1 Thessalonians 4 ("Living to Please God"), click here: Bible Gateway.

"You are all sons of God through faith in Jesus Christ, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ...for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:26, 28

Congratulations to DAWN, who is the winner of the Love and Respect Book from the November 6th post titled "Love and Respect".


© 2009 by Sharon Sloan. All rights reserved.


Proverbs 27:19 said...

Good morning Sharon!

Nice way to explain this to us without overwhelming us with information. Your purpose of writing about this is clear and you took no detours from it.

Precise. Convicting. Straight to the point.


Kelly Combs said...

Sharon - this was a beautiful post! It really meant a lot to me, and I will try to remember these words in my heart as I go about my daily walk in marriage.

Warren Baldwin said...

This is the kind of spiritual nurture God wants for marriage. Good post.

Edie said...

Very well said Sharon!

jim.sloan said...

"I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk..." -Song of Solomon 5:1

Sharon, I am so richly blessed to have you as my sister and my bride. I love you with all my heart. Jimmy

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

The post was beautiful and a great reminder!

However, the comment from Jim simply heartwarming!

Love you both!

Sonya Lee Thompson said...


This was a great post. My husband and I have both read it, and we enjoyed discussing it together. Thank you for being faithful to your husband and to God with this post!

Love you!

Wendy Blight said...


Wow!! First, I have never read Love and Respect, so this is a new Truth to me about looking at Monty as my sibling in Christ. I can't wait to share it with him.

Second, thank you for making it so understandable by personalizing it. You truly are a wonderful writer and teacher.



Stacy Wittkamp said...

What an amazing perspective. I think it's so easy toget in the habit of extending more grace to those "outside" our families than those "inside", particularly our spouses. Your post reminds me that I should be just as slow to judge when it comes to him as I try to be with other member of the body of Christ.

~ Dawn ~ said...

Thank you for a great post! Something that I have never really thought about but now I will. I recieve the package. Thank you so much! We are ready to start reading it and working on our marriage together and our walk with God together.