Find the Pattern

Do you remember finding the patterns in math class when you were a youngster?  It looked something like this:

@+^^^*(=)@+^^^*(=)@+___*(=)  The answer of course is ^^^. 

Did you ever wonder why you needed to learn about patterns?  As parents, we need to learn how to see patterns in our children's behavior.

When my children were youngsters, the dinner hour became a stressful time for me.  Actually, it started around 5pm and lasted until 7pm.  They would quarrel amongst themselves, they would whine and they seemed to get injured more easily.  There I was, trying to fix a nice dinner for my family, all the while being distracted over and over.  It wasn't an easy time for me.  Every single night I became exasperated and then I would lose my cool.  By the time my husband would enter the house, I was done with my parenting duties for the day.  At that point, I wanted him to take over so I could regain my composure and find some peace and tranquility.

Unfortunately, noone ever told me to watch for behavioral patterns in my kids, and I missed the obvious for several months.  Finally, one morning as I cried out to God, He gave me an idea.  Make dinner during the lunch hour.  It would require a bit more planning on my part, but at this point I was willing to try anything to break this pattern.  That evening, I began to see a shift, not with their behavior but with mine.  Since I wasn't struggling to multi-task, I was far more attentive to them and far more patient in handling the situations that arose.  I also found that I was able to engage them and resolve volatile situations before they escalated to a bad level.

Over the next few weeks, making dinner at lunch time (or even in the morning thanks to buying a crock pot) broke the ugly pattern I had been seeing - both in my children and in myself.  Eventually, I began setting the stage for a quiet, peaceful dinner by lighting candles and playing classical music.  The kids even got into the dinner preparation as I started letting them take turns setting and decorating the table for a pleasant dinner.

When I reflect back to those early days, I am amazed at the difference. I am thankful that God showed me the unpleasant patterns, and then gave me wisdom to make changes. 

Even as my kids have grown, more patterns have emerged.  I'm on the lookout for patterns now, and I immediately go before the Lord and ask for wisdom to change them. 

Proverbs 2:6-8 (NIV) " For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; He guards the paths of justice, And preserves the way of His saints. "