Friday, December 2, 2011

Men's and Women's Needs

After Thanksgiving dinner last week, a few of the ladies and I decided to brave the crowds and go out Christmas shopping.

While we were driving to the mall, we got on the discussion of how funny it is when our husbands try to give us what they need, thinking it's what we need.

One of the women shared how she's worn out from going to school full-time. When she comes home from class in the evening, her husband can't keep his hands off her.

She jokingly expressed, "You want to turn me on? Do the dishes. That impresses me." We all laughed and agreed that helping with household chores and the kids is what helps us feel more affection for our husbands.

It's interesting how different God made men and women, and how different our needs are. And unless we learn what our spouses need, we will naturally try to give them what we need.

I have noticed this in my marriage. Many times I try to do things for my husband to show him my love. I do his laundry, make his lunch, clean up the house and have dinner ready when he comes home from work. Though he enjoys having clean clothes and meals prepared, he'd rather have my attention and affection. That is what draws him closer to me.

I, on the other hand, feel loved by my husband when he goes out of his way to help me around the house. When he surprises me by organizing the pantry or folding a basket of laundry, it shows me that he cares about me because he's thinking of me. Though I enjoy his attention and affection, I'm more drawn to him when he helps me.

How about you? Have you noticed that your needs are
different than your spouse's needs?

I thought for the next couple posts on marriage (12/16, 12/30), I would share the different needs men and women have. When I ran an online survey for my book, I discovered the needs men and women shared were clearly different.

I believe God gave us different needs to compliment each other, not to frustrate us. As we learn about our spouses' different needs, and lean on God to help us meet their needs, we will draw closer together and truly be one with our spouses.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Genesis 2:24, KJV

Amanda Beth


Sonya Lee Thompson said...

This is so true in my marriage! We had to learn how to meet each other's needs instead of doing what we hoped to receive back, too. Can't wait to read the next two posts!

Author Amanda Beth said...

Thanks, Sonya! It took us a long time to learn that and we still need to be reminded at times:)

Warren Baldwin said...

Good statement: "I believe God gave us different needs to compliment each other, not to frustrate us."

Our differences can frustrate each other, but if we realize they were meant to complement our spouse's differences, not put us in competition with them, we could function together so much more effectively and lovingly. Good post.

Author Amanda Beth said...

Thanks, Warren! You said it better than me:)