It's In the Translation

"The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."
Isaiah 40:8

Our generation should be some of the best communicators, constantly plugged in and forever clicking away on blackberries and mini laptops. I must admit though, with all of this technology and immediate gratification, some things may be getting lost in the translation. Just maybe, I think, it may have been our parents' generation that had better information sharing methods. My parents have always had a pretty consistent manner of communicating with one another. There were many years my father travelled extensively for work and they had to have a system. However, it is important to note, when my father was very young and in the service, he worked on airplanes. Very NOISY airplanes. So, he is virtually deaf in one ear. Now, I am no expert, but I would venture a guess that the other ear is not so great either :) This little tidbit has wreaked havoc on my dear dad for years.

Many things have been lost in the translation with my dad, orders in restaurants, questions from his students, the grandchildren speaking to him. But, make no mistake, my father is a good willed and fine man. He has more integrity in his little toe than most men acquire in a lifetime. As far as his faith and his ability to share his love with us, that is certainly not an issue. But, the following encounter has rendered our family hysterical numerous times over the years.

I was in college at the time. I still lived at home. My mother worked at a local department store and my father picked her up after her shift on the weekends. That Saturday night, my dad asked if I wanted to ride over with him. It was very late and my mother got into the car.
She innocently asked him a simple question,
"Did you kill the wasps?"
(A wasp's nest was overtaking a tree in our side yard) to which he replied,
"Yes, yes, I did a load of white."
My mother chuckled.
She clarified for him, "No, no not the wash, the bugs, did you get the bugs?" Still, the ears were not with him,
"Rugs, why would I wash the rugs?"
We laughed until we cried. I know it is one of those moments you had to have been there to understand, however almost twenty years and a hearing aid later, we still have those moments.

Consequently, my dad had sprayed the wasp's nest, in addition to the other tasks he performed that day. But, I always find it noteworthy it takes so little to misunderstand the intentions of those around us. Dr. Eggerichs (of Love & Respect fame) pointed out in a marriage encounter my husband and I attended, that people are generally good-willed, most of those around us are good willed people. My father was certainly good-willed that day, however, it was his ears that failed him.

So, how often is our translation of a conversation vastly different than how the other person meant it? It amazes me how one single glance can speak volumes, while a fifteen minute dissertation to my children on loving one another can result in two defiant mini-me's casting blame from themselves and to each other, just wanting to "win". After all, they are incredibly good willed people, right? Right.

Your word, O LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Psalms 119:89

So, though our earthly selves may daily struggle with interpretations of our interactions with others, there is something in our Christian walk that is unchanging. Regardless of the version of Bible we choose to use for our quiet time, the message is the same. It is stable, viable and steady.

As I deeper study the Bible, I am fascinated by the translations of the written word of God. There may be many; however, it becomes abundantly clear that there is very little wiggle room in translating the hard and fast facts presented in Word of God. We attend Bible studies and many times we take away different things, perhaps it meets us where we are in that moment. We go to church and as the Pastor breaks down the Word, verse for verse, we nod and praise the God that so clearly and carefully spelled out every single thing we need to know in one perfect handbook. We humble ourselves in prayer, meditating on the truth that comes only in verses encapsulated in our Holy Bibles.

Where is your Bible? Good willed as each of us may be, our walk will falter if we are not daily seeking, noses in our Bibles, putting to action the commands and truth as only articulated in the great Word of God. Some translations may not be as reliable as others, but we are called to study, seek and press onward in His Word.

Praises, moments of great joy, hardened hearts, anger, bitterness, laws, promises...they are all there, the answers within. If you have been away from your Bible, the Lord will rejoice at your return to His Word.

"I am the Lord, and I do not change." Malachi 3:6

It is that simple, no translation needed.

Like Digging For Gold

LIKE DIGGING FOR GOLD

My son, perseve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight. Proverbs 3:21

"Wes hit me." My daughter reported this incident about her brother with tears in her eyes.

"Did you hit Jenny?" I asked Wes.

"No, I didn’t," he said, with a look of total innocence in his eyes.

"Then why is she crying?"

"It’s not because I hit her."

Both my seven year old son and four year old daughter were either telling the truth (which couldn’t be happening) or were playing their roles so convincingly that I didn’t know which one to believe. Jenny was in tears so something obviously had happened. She convinced me that Wes had hit her. But Wes spoke with such conviction that he didn’t hit his sister I wanted to believe him, too.

One thing Cheryl and I learned with little kids is that you have to keep asking questions. At a very young age children learn the power of language. They can convince mom and dad they need ice cream and persuade grandma and grandpa they need seconds all with the power of words. Too young they develop techniques of manipulation that wrap us around their little fingers.

One of my two kids was working some of these techniques on me this day. Was it the one crying or the one declaring innocence?

From Cheryl I learned that you have to keep digging. Getting information from children is comparable to searching for gold in the side of a mountain: you have to dig, examine the evidence you unearth, evaluate it, and then dig some more, continuing to repeat the process. Over time, you may find some gold. And truth.

I felt like a prosecutor in the courtroom cross-examining a witness. I had some basic evidence and I had two eye witnesses, though they were giving conflicting testimony. I had to try a different tack.

Wes, why don’t you just show me what happened to your sister. Notice this wasn’t a question, it was an invitation to action. "Show me." Wes opened his hand and swung it through the air. "Is that what you did to Jenny?" I asked.

"Yes."

"That is hitting. Why did you tell me you didn’t hit her if you did?"

"No dad, that isn’t hitting, that is slapping. Hitting is if you make a fist and punch someone. I wouldn’t do that to my sister."

In the next several minutes my four and seven year old received vocabulary and ethics lessons. They were so young to learn the words ‘nuance’ and ‘semantics,’ but if they were old enough to play the game, they were old enough understand the significance of it. The ethics lesson was about truth and honesty, and not misrepresenting either by fancy play with words. This particular lesson was buttressed with some punishment.

This conversation was a great breakthrough for me as a father, because since this incident I’ve observed not only my three, but many other children, control a conversation through semantic play, withholding vital information, and playing ignorant. A parent need not panic if they realize this kind of competitive sparring is going on in conversations with their children. It is normal and natural. It means the kids are thinking through situations, are learning to use the language in creative ways, and are forcing their parents to parent.

You read that last line correctly. When children engage in language manipulation, they force us to parent. For the good of our children, for the integrity of the home, for the continued respect for our authority and role as dad and mom, we must engage the communication process with our kids. For me to have dismissed my two kids that day with, "Oh, just get out of here and stop it" would have left my daughter with a sense of injustice and my son with a sense of victory. Both kids would also have learned that with proper nuancing of terms and manipulative techniques they could by with anything. Respect for their mom and me would have diminished.

I had to enter the verbal contest, search for the nugget of truth, and act on the nugget I discovered. In the process I spent time with my kids and was able to teach them the value of purity of heart and honesty of communication.

When we slow down enough to spend time with our kids in these kinds of conversations, they learn something besides the topic under discussion. They learn that mom and dad will take the time to talk to them and reach the truth. They learn the value of integrity. They learn judgment and discernment. They learn how to behave properly. And they learn that mom and dad love them.

Warren Baldwin

Note: Thanks to Christina for sparking my memory and giving me the idea for this post with her very good article, "Wasn’t My Fault" on her blog, Change of Plans.