God's Plans, Not Mine

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

What do your prayers sound like? So often mine tend to focus on what I want. Even when I ask God what He wants, I hardly neglect to let Him know what I want. Now there's nothing wrong with asking God for what we want or what we think we need but are we truly willing to accept what He wants for us?

Many times I have prayed for or about something and God has answered exceedingly abundantly beyond what I had ever hoped for. The last two vehicles I have purchased happened that way. In both cases I had been praying because I needed another vehicle and I asked for something specific in His time. In both cases God went ahead of me and chose vehicles that were what I asked for and so much more.

There have also been those times when it seemed like God overlooked a few details. I have recently asked for prayer for myself as I looked for a job. I want to thank you all for praying and for those that encouraged me and some who even helped me through a few meltdowns. God provides for His children but it doesn't always look like we think it should.

As I applied for jobs, I prayed specifically that God would block all offers except for the job He wanted me to accept. I also asked if there could be at least one deeply rooted Christian where He chose for me to work, and that be someone I could become good friends with. I asked for prayer in my Sunday school class one day and the lady I asked told me there might be a position available soon in her department at work and asked me to email her my resume. Within a week she called me and offered me a job. The offer sounded more like a sales pitch as she was very anxious for me to accept.

So prayers answered, a job that was offered to me by someone I was already developing a friendship with who was a deeply rooted Christian. But it "seemed" that God had overlooked a few details. This was a part time position and paid very little. Not sufficient income to pay my bills but I was sure this was God's choice so I accepted the job. At the start of my 2nd week the position became full time and my supervisor is telling me that she wants to train me for advancement. The pay is still not sufficient to pay my bills but I know that this is the job that God chose for me. If things had gone according to my plans, I would have gone into a full time position that offered better pay but I am learning to accept God's plans and not mine.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

Throughout my life God has shown me that He is always faithful. He has never left me stranded and has always provided for my needs, sometimes in miraculous ways. He can be trusted even when there is more month at the end of my income. These days it seems that we don't leave any room for dependence on God. We want our safety nets all in place before we take any steps forward. We won't take a job unless it offers high pay, health insurance, and a retirement plan. These aren't bad things but it seems that we, like the world, have come to rely more on these safety nets than we do on God. The world has to depend on these things because they don't have God, but God wants His People to depend on Him. We are called to live a life set apart so that the world can see our God and so that He will be glorified. I am so thankful for all that God has provided for me and that He has cut away the safety net.

Since I am working outside the home again I am having to make adjustments in my schedule. This will be my last post with Titus 2 in Action. I want to thank Sonya for giving me this opportunity. I have really enjoyed working with her and the other contributing authors here. Thank you all for reading and for your comments and encouragement.

Stephanie at Truthsharer will be picking up Grandma's Gems from this point forward. Stephanie is a wonderful lady in love with the LORD and full of insight into God's Word so please welcome her in this position.

Volunteer Opportunities

This is my grandaughter Word Girl. In this picture she is pouring drinks, not for herself, but for those that we came to serve. Word Girl has expressed an interest in wanting to help others in need since she was very small. I could see that this was something that God had put on her heart so I began to pray for an opportunity. Unfortunately it's not that easy to find hands-on volunteer opportunities that children can take part in due to liability issues. I think that's sad because it teaches them how to take part in volunteer efforts as adults. I believe that a lot more adults would get involved in volunteer work if they had some previous exposure, and when children grow up doing volunteer work, then it is more likely to become part of their lifestyle.

A few years ago God opened up an opportunity where we could volunteer as a family to serve women that have left a life of abuse. Once a week families in the transitional living program met for counseling and a meal was served before their sessions began. So every 3 weeks my granddaughters and I would bring a meal to serve to these families.

All of the girls loved doing this. The two little ones didn't serve food but still ministered to the children as they played with them. They understood our purpose there and were quite patient about waiting until we served others before fixing them a plate. I love what this has taught them. Since that time Word Girl asks me periodically when we can do it again. God has recently laid it on my heart to start getting involved in helping the homeless and I plan on trying to find a way that she can be involved.

When it comes to volunteer work it's easy to opt out because it is not required. Volunteering is choosing to help someone else instead of doing something for our self. Teach the little ones in your life to do something selfless and volunteer at the church, a rescue mission, or a special project to benefit someone else.

We could not take pictures of anyone in the program but here's my little ones enjoying their meal.

After we packed everthing up to go home we took a few pictures of the girls being who God created them to be, distinctly individual and unique. Of course I have to add ... Aren't they just adorable!? :D

(This is a revision of one of my posts from October, 2008.)

Where Would I Go?

Did you ever want to run away from home when you were a child? Maybe even as an adult. I think most of us can remember at least one time in our life when we wanted to. When I was about eight years old I had gotten in trouble for something, I don't remember what, but I do remember that it made me angry enough to decide I was going to run away. I packed up as much of my belongings as I could and then I realized that I had no place to go so I unpacked everything and put it all away.

I lived with my grandma and she was the one who took care of me. She was the one who gave me a place to live, food when I was hungry, clothes, a warm bed, and lots of other extras out of love. When she wasn't treating me nice enough by my standards, I didn't trust her love for me and wanted to leave.

Life can be pretty disappointing sometimes and downright devastating at other times. When trials come we find ourselves grappling with our faith. No matter how deeply rooted in Christ we are, we all experience trials that stretch our faith so thin that we wonder if it will hold. These are the times when we face what we say we believe about God and His love for us, and have to come to terms with whether or not we really do believe.

When God allows a tragedy to happen to your child, the loss of your job, homelessness, a shattered dream, these are the times we question His love, His care, His provision. It's easy to say we trust God when things are going pretty well, but when trials come, that trust is put to the test. It is during the trials that we not only seek God for what He can do for us, but we strive to know and understand Him because of who He is. These are the times we are faced with the question Jesus asked His diciples in John 6:67-68.

Then Jesus said..., “Do you also want to go away?”
But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. John 6:67-68

Questioning God isn't a sin when we take our questions to Him, it is a stretching of faith. God doesn't frown on us when we bring our doubts about His character and His purposes to Him. He knows that we will have doubts, and He allows us to experience trials so that we will question Him. Then He shows us His love at a greater level, teaches us deeper truths about Himself, and strengthens our faith in Him. We may not understand, but we can choose to trust God and keep walking with Him.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct[a] your paths. proverbs 3:5-6

Applying Understanding

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. - Matthew 5:44

This was one of my granddaughters' memory verses. As we were practicing it one morning, I realized from the look on Miss Personality's face, that she didn't know what an enemy was so I asked her and she said "no". I explained that an enemy was someone who was mean to you. Then I told her that God wants us to love and be nice to people even when they are mean to us and He wants us to pray for them.

She looked a bit surprised and said "Why!?". I explained that when we are nice to people who are being mean, it helps to change them so that they will be nicer. I said that sometimes it takes a little time, but if we keep being nice it will help that person to change.

Computer Girl was behind us listening to the conversation and suddenly said "Like the Beast!" They had watched Beauty and the Beast just before this conversation and she made the connection.

For the LORD gives wisdom, and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. - Proverbs 2:6

A few weeks later when I went to pick up Computer Girl from her Sunday School class, the teacher asked me who "so and so" was. I don't remember the name she used so I'll call her Addie. She explained that the kids made cards that day that they were to give to someone they knew and that Computer Girl said it was for someone named Addie. I figured it was one of her friends. On the way home from church I asked Computer Girl who Addie was and she told me it was a girl who was mean to her. She said that she wanted to give her a card to help her learn to be nice. *Big Smile*

Her action makes me stop and think about my own response to those people who have crossed my path and have not been very nice to me. Do I lash out at them? Do I hold a grudge? Do I seek revenge? Or do I apply scripture to the situation? Praying for, and doing acts of kindness to those who have hurt us is difficult, but it keeps our own hearts pliable for the Lord to shape into His likeness.

The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child  will lead them. Isaiah 11:6

This is an update from one of my previous posts Gaining Understanding.

Accepting Disappointment

Disappointment is a hard thing for me to accept. I tend to like getting what I want. But the hard truth is that I don't always get what I want. As a matter of fact, I often don't get what I want. It's part of life. From the time we're born until our last days we will meet with disappointment. Have you ever noticed how some people seem to be able to accept disappointment and keep moving forward better than others? They have probably had a lot of practice and good guidance.

We can help our children and grandchildren to better accept disappointment while they are young by allowing them to experience it. I think this can be especially hard for us grandparents.  Allowing children to experience disappointment doesn't mean we cause it and I'm not referring to devastation here either. Allowing children to experience small disappointments and teaching them how to accept those little disappointments, trains them to better deal with the bigger disappointments they will experience later in life. So often we want to shield children from disappointment so we try to prevent it or make them forget it by giving them something much bigger and better. Often when there is more than one child we try to make everything "fair" by making it equal, but equal isn't necessarily fair or what is best.

Dealing with disappointment is generally a matter of redirecting our focus in some way. At the center of disappointment is usually "self" so a part of overcoming disappointment is redirecting our focus from "self" to "other". When my three little granddaughters come over they often want to play Webkinz. Since they all want to be first we have a rotation setup so that each time they come over someone else is first. They spend a few minutes talking about who was first last time and working out what the new line-up is every time. As they do this, they are working through the disappointment and learning to accept it as well as learning to place a little more focus on the others.

Disappointment generally involves a loss so offsetting that with some sort of gain or joy can help to train children to look for something positive in the midst of disappointment. In the above example, the one who is last gets a little more time on Webkinz than the other two. This provides a little disappointment and a little joy to both the first and last position as well as making things a little unequal for all of them. I have noticed that the one who is last will sometimes remind herself that she gets a little more time instead of dwelling on not being first.

Life isn't fair and it isn't equal. We all face disappointments but we can learn to view life and disappointment from God's perspective and teach our children to do the same.

Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross... Hebrews 12:2

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Philippians 2:3

Encourage Children to Share Jesus

As parents we often don't really want others teaching our children about their religion. We think they don't have the right to impose their beliefs on our kids. We don't want anyone leading our kids astray. The same is true of non-believers. They don't want us Christians filling their kids minds with thoughts of Jesus. The fact is, we are in a spiritual battle all the time. You are one side or the other, there is no in-between.

We can and should keep our children out of situations where they will be wrongly influenced when that is possible, but we should also equip them to handle those situation when they are in them. We should teach our children how to discern right from wrong, how to make good decisions, and how to share Jesus with their friends.

And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “ How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, Who bring glad tidings of good things!” Romans 10:15

I remember when I was in elementary school my best friend Deana was Jewish. To me this girl was "set apart". I was fascinated by her different lifestyle and the different holidays her family celebrated, and the way they celebrated. As a result I asked a lot of questions. Our kids go to school with kids who have many different beliefs and many different Gods. Our culture is blending many beliefs (including Christian beliefs) into a universal religion that is all inclusive and looks the same no matter what. Do our kids appear "set apart" as Deana did to me? Is there a difference in their lifestyle, activities, and celebrations or does it look just like everyone else?

I remember one day Word Girl was telling me that satan was Jesus' brother. Where did she get that inaccurate bit of information? From a friend at school. Children aren't afraid to talk to each other about their beliefs. They are going to influence each other, and I think sometimes we forget that God can use our children just as effectively (if not more so) to plant seeds, as He can use us adults.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." Jeremiah 1:5

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect. 1 Peter 3:15

Trust and Live

The Most High God chose to leave the glorious realm of heaven to live like the dust of the earth, to live as a human, enduring all the difficulties, joys, sorrows, and trials of this life. He had mountaintop experiences and valley experiences. He experienced slander from his enemies and betrayal from his friends and family. He was bullied, ridiculed, laughed at, beaten, stripped, humiliated, tortured and finally killed.

His friends and followers were left feeling confused and hopeless. Their greatest hopes and dreams had been ripped to shreds, their faith stretched so thin it threatened to break at any second. They were left with questions. "Wasn't this the King we had been waiting for?" "How could we have been wrong?" "Did we miss something along the way?" "What do we do now?" "I guess we go back to fishing." "What's left?" "Why?"

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways  higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

Because He loves us...
His life on earth was to identify with us.
His death was the punishment that we deserved for all of our sins, past, present, and future.
But the Power of God could not be contained in death. He defeated death and rose again to life, real life, so that we could live with Him forever in Heaven.

Trust in Jesus Christ ... and live.

Sunday is Resurrection Day. It is the celebration of the day that Jesus Christ, the Messiah, defeated death and sin and it's hold over you and me. I hope you have a wonderful celebration of our Risen Savior.

My oldest grand-daughter has chosen to Trust Jesus with her life and will be baptized on Resurrection Day.

Jesus, Friend to Children

I'm fairly new at the church I'm attending having been there only about four months. As many of you know, I bring my three grand-daughters to church with me most every Sunday. At our previous church my oldest grand-daughter Word Girl went to a kids worship while I went to adult worship with both of my littlest grand-daughters. At our new church the two little ones go to their own kids worship and Word Girl comes with me to adult worship.

One day as we walked into worship we were met by a lady I had gotten to know a little who stopped to say hello. Almost immediately she introduced herself to Word Girl and began a friendly conversation with her. After a few minutes we said our goodbyes and Word Girl and I went to go take our seats. She had a big grin on her face and felt like she had just found a new friend.

Then little children were brought to Jesus for Him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." When He had placed His hands on them, He went on from there. Matthew 19:13-15

The word rebuke is defined "to express sharp, stern disapproval of; to criticize sharply; reprove; reprimand."

People were always trying to get to Jesus to be healed, to ask a question, even just to get a look at Him as Zacchaeus the tax collector was doing when he climbed a tree. Yet when parents tried to bring their children to Jesus to touch them, bless them or pray over them, the disciples were very put out. Jesus not only loved children but he paid attention to them. I imagine when the children were brought to Jesus He squatted down to their height, looked straight into their eyes with a big smile on His face and talked with them. He probably asked them their name, their age, and what they liked to do. I'm sure He listened to them with great interest in what they said and after He prayed for them He probably hugged them or jostled their hair.

The Bible doesn't give us all the details but no doubt, He met them at their point of need just like He did with everyone else, and I'm sure those kids left Him with a big grin on their face and feeling like they had just found a new friend.

We all need a little attention sometimes. Children are often overlooked in a crowd of adults even at church. When you are in church next time and they tell you to greet the people near you, see if there is a child nearby that you can talk to. Maybe you will make them feel like they found a friend, and it just might make an impact on them for life.

"Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me." Matthew 18:5

Teaching Them How To Pray

Have you ever sat down to a meal with someone who asked their child to lead in giving thanks and the prayer was spoken so fast that you didn't even hear it? Did you ever do that when you were a child? Did you have a specific prayer that you said at every meal or when you went to bed? I did a Google search on children's prayers and was surprised at how many little poem type prayers for children there were. Here are a few examples you may be familiar with.

Thank you for the world so sweet,
Thank you for the food we eat,
Thank you for the birds that sing,
Thank you God for everything.

---

God is great,
God is good.
And we thank Him
For our food. Amen.

---

Lord, Bless this bunch, while we munch our lunch. Amen.

---

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
God bless our family and our friends.

---

(And the politically correct version.)

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
May angels watch me
through the night and
wake me with the morning light.

While these are cute, ammusing, and poetic little prayers, they miss the mark of what prayer actually is. Prayer is talking with God. It is relational not religious. When we teach our children to pray a memorized prayer that was written by someone else, it becomes a set of words that can be recited at the speed of light without a thought. It's important to teach even the littlest child to talk to God from their own heart.

As adults we should also participate in the prayer and not always let the child take the lead. We are the ones who need to model prayer to our children and grand children. Jesus modeled prayer for us in Matthew 6.

"This, then, is how you should pray: " 'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one."  Matthew 6:9-13

In the same way, we need to model prayer with elements of praise and adoration for God, prayer for God's Kingdom and His will to reign on earth, requests for our provision, forgiveness for our sins and for those who have wronged us, for protection against temptation and against Satan. Not that all of these elements need to be included in every prayer but that they all are frequently modeled in our prayer life. In doing this we will teach our children how to develop relational prayer with God, and as we listen to them pray we will also gain insight into their hearts.

Hear my prayer, O God; listen to the words of my mouth. Psalm 54:2

...but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Psalm 66:19

And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Matthew 6:7

Handling the Word of God

When my daughter was growing up she believed most anything she heard on commercials. She was always telling me which were the best products to buy and why they were the best, When I would ask her how she knew, she would say because they said so on the commercial. It's sad to realize that you must expect an element of deception in advertising and be on your guard for it.

While most of us have wised up about the reliability of commercials, many adults are still quick to believe something simply because another person says (or writes) it's so. Countless emails get passed around cyberspace claiming to be a warning of some sort that will protect you from harm and urging you to pass it along to everyone you know. There are places on the internet where you can verify if that information is correct or not but few people either know where to verify it, how to verify it, or take the time to verify it.

When it comes to scripture we should not simply take another person's word (or written work), for what the Bible says or means, and we should be teaching our children not to either. We should be in the habit of verifying scripture ourselves, and teaching our children how to do the same, prayerfully researching it out. A concordance and bible dictionary are very useful tools for helping to understand scripture as well. We gain more insight into and understanding of God's Word when we look at the original text and it's meaning.

And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth. Acts 17:11 (emphasis mine)

Why is it important to know scripture for ourselves? First and formost is that studying God's Word for ourselves is the best way to develop a deep, intimate relationship with Jesus.

Another reason is that there are those who would deliberately teach wrong doctrine to draw us and/or our children into their "religion" or cult. The best way to spot a counterfeit is to know the original.

Even with people we can trust, our friends, parents, pastors, reputable authors, etc, we need to remember that they can make mistakes. We are imperfect humans and we all make mistakes. As teachers of God's Word, we are held to a high standard to teach it accurately. So it is important that we use reliable references, research out what we are being taught, and teach our children to do the same. We need to keep in mind that popularity and opinion are not proper guages for reliablity, accuracy is.

One way to teach children to develop the habit of verifying scripture is to have them verify the scriptures and meanings you are teaching them. Who knows, they might come back and teach you something you didn't know.

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15 (emphasis mine)

Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment. James 3:1

Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. 2 Timothy 4:2 (emphasis mine)

You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Titus 2:1 (emphasis mine)

Who's In The Conversation?

Have you ever been in a situation where you are with a couple of friends and they become caught up in a conversation that seems to exclude you? It wasn't intentional on their part, they were just so caught up in conversation that they seem to have forgotten that you were there.

In John 16 Jesus is engrossed in a conversation with His disciples. This is the chapter where Jesus is explaining that He will be going away, but He will come back (referring to His death and Resurrection). The disciples aren't quite understanding so there are a lot of questions. Everyone is involved in the conversation. Then John 17:1 begins with like this...

Jesus spoke these words, lifted up His eyes to heaven, and said: “Father, the hour has come. Glorify Your Son, that Your Son also may glorify You." John 17:1

Do you see what Jesus did here? In the course of His conversation, He looked up and spoke to the Father. He didn't gather everyone together to pray. He didn't bow or kneel in formal ceremony. He didn't walk away from the others to quietly pray. As we read John 17, we see that the words Jesus spoke (His prayer) to the Father, were an extension of the conversation. He recognized that God the Father is always with us and He simply included God in the conversation. It was the same as if your friends in the above example would have turned to you and brought you into the conversation.

I am not saying that we should be walking around everywhere we go, engaged in an audible conversation with God. Jesus was with close friends who were believers in this situation. But how often do we forget that God is right there with us waiting to be included in the conversation? The closer our relationship with Jesus is, the more aware we are of His continual presence and the more we naturally begin to include Him in our conversations, whether silently or audibly.

We can model the closeness of our relationship with our Father to our children by looking up sometimes in the course of our conversations with them, to include God. In the midst of our conversation, and our day-to-day, there are many opportunities to look up and say "Thank you Lord.", "What should we do Lord?", "Would you help us with this Lord?", and one of my personal favorites, "Lord, would you please show me where I put my glasses again?". Your children, your grand-children, and others will see that your relationship with Jesus is real and personal, and they just might pick up on making it more personal in their own lives too.

Pray continually. 1 Thessalonians 5:17

"For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” Matthew 18:20

"...And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

Longings

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to shop for a child? Give a gift to a toddler and chances are good that they will be more interested in the box than the pricey toy. When that happens you may redirect the child's attention to the toy. This may require persistence on your part, and even removal of the box but eventually the child is focused on the toy. It becomes one of their favorite toys for a while, then they lose interest in it all together. That toy gets pushed aside while they make way for new toys that peak their interest for a little while until they become bored with those as well. Before you know it the child has a room full of toys that they never play with. Does that sound familiar to you?

In the eyes of that little toddler, the box brought more interest and joy than the pricey toy. The box is the thing that invites the imagination of the child to soar. In a sense, redirecting their focus to the toy is like teaching them to focus on material value rather than on the simple joy. Between a parent's, grandparent's, or other family members' desire to bring happiness to a child, and a retailers desire to sell more stuff, it is easy for a child to have too much.

He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet. Proverbs 27:7

We have all had to shop for someone who seems to already have everything they need or want, except for things that are not in our allotted budget for their gift. While the  gift may be appreciated, it most likely won't bring that sense of enjoyment that the we would like it to. The same can be true of our children if they have all the latest and greatest toys and gadgets on the market we may be depriving them of the delight that comes with receiving something that has been longed for.

That is the way God works in our lives. He doesn't hand us everything we want but when it is His plan to give it, He often has us wait and allows us to long for it so that when He does give us that gift, our joy will be much greater than when we first asked for it. Whatever the longing is, whether necessity, ministry, companionship, or enjoyment, His perfect timing will bring the most joy to His child.

My soul, wait silently for God alone,For my expectation is from Him. Psalm 62:5

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him! Matthew 7:11

The Way

Remember when you were a child people started asking you what you wanted to be when you grew up? This of course was to refer to what job or career path you would like to take. A child may or may not have any thoughts or ideas about these things, but God was thinking about it long before they were ever born.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Since God has already thought about the plans He has for our kids, then we should also be thinking and praying about it. The bible even tells us to train them for it.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

The Hebrew word used for "way" in this scripture, is derek. Vines Bible Dictionary defines it like this. Path, road, highway, manner, conduct, condition, destiny, undertaking. This word connotes how and what one does, a manner, custom, behavior, mode of life. Derek is applied to an activity that controls one, one's life-style. It can signify the overall course and fixed path of one's life, or his "destiny".

So how do we begin training them for what God will call them to when we don't know what that call is? In addition to teaching them to love the Lord with all their heart, we need to study them to learn how God is equipping them. We should seek to discover the things they love the most, the things they are naturally good at, and the things they are naturally drawn to. These will be used in the skills and talents that God is developing in them to equip them for His plans.

Ask your kids questions about the things they love. Not vague "What do you like? and What's your favorite color?" questions but focused questions like "What do you like better x or y?" They will enjoy the focused attention and interest you have in them while you do this, and you will learn how God is shaping them. Keep a journal on them to document what you discover. Don't discount anything no matter how insignificant it might seem to you at the moment. Everything has a purpose.

For example, my middle grand-daughter has always been drawn to tiny things. I began noticing this when she was about three years old.

• Once as we were walking to the car, she stopped in her tracks and squatted down to intently watch an ant that was walking across her path on the sidewalk.
• On another occasion, she found a very small bead on the floor. She picked it up and exclaimed with delight, "Look! A little ball! There's a little hole in it." Then she studied it intently for several minutes. Knowing how inquisitive she she is, I could just imagine the questions she was wondering at that moment. "I wonder what that hole is for. I wonder if there's anything in that hole. I wonder what I can put inside that hole. I wonder how it got there."
• One day we played the "What do you like better?" game and one of the questions I asked her was "What do you like better, big or little?" Her answer - little. Next question - little or tiny. Her answer - tiny.

Since then I have discovered through her painting, drawing, and speech that she adds a lot of details. Her draw toward things tiny is the indicator of her attention to detail.

As you discover more about the way God is equipping your children, you can then begin to train them by providing the supplies that will encourage growth in those areas. Not to over do it. It's not necessary to go out and pay for expensive music lessons if your child shows an interest in an instrument. The next time you are purchasing a gift for that child, make it an age appropriate guitar or drum set. If they love painting, get them some basic artist supplies. My youngest grand-daughter loves things on wheels and technology, so for her birthday I got her a remote control truck. My oldest grand-daughter has a great love for animals so one year I got her a Zoo Vet computer game. These will be the tools that will help them to hone the skills God is developing in them.

As they begin to think about what they want to "be" when they grow up, you will be able to point out some of the skills and talents God has given them and encourage them to ask Him what He has in mind. When they reach an age where they are thinking more seriously about their career path, you will have trained them in the way they should go and can present them with a journal filled with information that could help them take the next step.

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

New Traditions

What are you doing in your home at Christmas that puts the focus on Jesus Christ? Is Jesus sharing the spotlight with something else or someone else?

Traditions are legacies that are passed down from generation to generation. Those traditions that are most strongly embraced in a family are most likely to be continued by the children and grand children and passed on to future generations. But as our children grow and get married, adjustments have to be made in consideration of the new spouse and extended family. Those traditions that had the least significance will likely be the ones lost. So from generation to generation your family traditions will change, but you can help determine the direction of those changes now by being intentional about choosing and creating your traditions. The more focus there is on Jesus in your celebration, the more likely that will carry into your future generations.

A number of years ago a close relative of mine passed away. She had three adult daughters, two of them Christians. At the funeral, as the pastor delivered the eulogy, I remember him saying that the one thing the girls remembered their mom for the most, was that she never stopped believing in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. This was what was held to be a most precious and valuable thing to this woman, and through her emphasis in her traditions, it is the legacy that is now being passed down to her grand children. What do you want to be remembered for and what kind of legacy do you want to leave for your family? I want to be remembered for always believing in (trusting in) Jesus Christ, not a fantasy.

When we evaluate and prioritize our traditions we setting a course for our future generations to follow. If you're looking for some new Christ centered traditions to start in your Christmas celebration, here are some ideas. Please share your own ideas as you leave a comment, and remember, Christ centered traditions can be fun as well as have meaning.

1. Jesus birthday cake box - I took a paper mache box and decorated it to look like a birthday cake complete with battery operated candles. Several weeks before Christmas I begin prompting my grand daughters to think about what they want to give Jesus for His birthday. As the day draws near, they will make a little craft or card or something for Jesus. On Christmas day, before we open presents, they will place their gifts in the Jesus birthday cake box and each of them will *light* the candle and place it on the cake. When the box is full I will pass it on to one of the girls and make another one until they each have their own (along with their Jesus gifts) to use with their family's.
   
   
2. Instead of the birthday cake box described above, you can substitute a box decorated like a gift box.
   
   
3. Sarah at God's Not Finished with us Yet said she purchases balloons for each of her kids to release on Christmas day to fly to Jesus as a gift from them for His birthday.
   
   
4. Gather the family together and read the Christmas story from the bible. Talk about the events, what it would have been like for those involved, and the impact it has made on each of your lives.
   
   
5. While I read or tell the Christmas story, the kids act it out with a play nativity set. Before Christmas, I setup the nativity set on a low table where the kids can play with it when they come over. I have a rule that they can't take any of the pieces off of the table where it is setup. That way we don't lose pieces and they can still play with it.
   
   
6. For each ornament on the Christmas tree, find a Scripture verse, print it on a tag, and attach it to the ornament. Choose scriptures that give meaning to the ornament.
   
   
7. If you have a large family gathering, retell the Christmas story with a full cast of volunteers. Dress in costume and make it fun. Get the dog involved. Instead of reindeer antlers or a santa suit, dress him like one of the animals in the nativity.
   
   
8. Find an open basket, a crate and materials that represent hay, something that looks similar such as colored yarn, raffia, strips of paper, etc.  Trim into small pieces if necessary.  Put the “hay” in a separate basket from the one that will be used as the manger.  Each time someone performs an act of selfless service for another, or goes above that which may be expected of them, they have the opportunity to place a piece of hay in the manger.  On Christmas Eve gather as a family to discuss feelings about all the wonderful things that have occurred through the duration of the practice, and place a baby doll representing Jesus into His manger.
   
   
9. Fill your Christmas tree with handmade ornaments with the Names of Christ. Each year add ornaments with the Names that you don't already have.
   
   
10. Every year have each member of the family make an ornament with one of the Names of Jesus. Gather together as a family and let each member tell the Name they chose and the reason why that Name was chosen. Make the ornaments a thank offering to God for the Gift of His precious Son.

We will not hide these truths from our children; we will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord, about his power and his mighty wonders. so the next generation might know them— even the children not yet born— and they in turn will teach their own children. Psalm 78:4,6

Have a most Blessed Christmas!

I Forgive You

My church has been doing a church-wide study on relationships and one segment of that focused on forgiveness. Let's have a little pop quiz here on forgiveness. This is straight out of our study guide.

True or False?

1. A person should not be forgiven until they ask for it.
2. Forgiveness includes minimizing the offense and the pain that was caused.
3. Forgiveness includes restoring trust and reuniting a relationship.
4. You haven't really forgiven others until you have forgotten the offense.

All of the above statements are false.

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult lessons we, as Christians, have to learn. Part of the reason for that is because we don't always have the correct perspective about what it actually means to forgive someone who has hurt us, as demonstrated in the above questions. Once we gain and embrace a right perspective of forgiveness, then we can begin to make some progress in actually applying it.

One day after I had broken up another battle between my little grand-daughters and had sent them each to their own corners until the heat died down, we came back together to discuss the matter. Each of them recounted what had happened from their own perspective. I don't recall all of the details of the battle but it was very clear that one had wronged the other and left her hurting. The one who had committed the offense admitted her wrong and apologized for it. The one who had been wronged then said in response "It's okay." This was the typical scenario after a battle as it probably is in your home too, but this time it stopped me dead in my tracks.

It hit me that one of the obstacles I have to overcome when trying to forgive someone who has done me wrong, is the idea that forgiveness means minimizing the offense and the pain that it caused. It's like saying "It's okay to hurt me." That is a distorted view of forgiveness. It's not okay when someone hurts us. So here I was teaching my grand-daughters that it was okay. I stopped them right then and explained that it is was not okay, but God wants us to forgive so we will choose to forgive even though we are hurt. Instead of saying "it's okay" we now say "I forgive you."

I have had to apologize to one of them since then and I can tell you it's far more humbling when you apologize to someone and they respond with "I forgive you" than with "it's okay". Especially when those words come from the mouth of a child. I pray that this will help keep them from developing this distorted view of forgiveness.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. Mark 11:25

Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. Acts 2:38

Giving Thanks

This is my Apple Pecan Braid. It's a recipe I created as an alternative to apple pie. My daughter, my grand-daughter Word Girl, and I all love it. The little ones, Miss Personality and Computer Girl don't have the same opinion. I hadn't made this in quite some time so I decided to make it one Sunday while the girls were over. I knew the little ones weren't fond of this but I had something else they could snack on so I went ahead with it. Being the oldest, Word Girl takes a back seat to the little ones a lot. I'm really very proud of how well she handles it too. So sometimes I try to consider her first when I'm making these decisions and she was thrilled at this decision.

Miss Personality hung out with me in the kitchen while I made it and happily stole apple slices from my stock as I worked. We talked about the ingredients and she confirmed that she loved them all except the pecans but that she could pick them out. So she was sure she would like it and she wanted a piece when it was done.

After it came out of the oven I let Word Girl drizzle the icing on it. Now the icing was something they all loved. About that time Computer Girl came to watch. She knew she didn't like the braid and had a look of disappointment on her face but didn't voice any complaints. I let her taste a little piece of the crust with some icing on it and her eyes brightened up so I asked her if she would like a piece from the end where it is mainly crust with icing and she liked that idea.

As we were all enjoying our pastry and each other's company, Computer Girl looked over at me and in her sweet little voice said "Thank you Grandma." That one little expression of gratitude said so much. For one thing, it said that she felt loved. It also said that she was content with what she had been given. We both knew that it wasn't what she would have picked if she had been given the choice, but still she was content with it and freely offered an expression of gratitude without any prompting. That expression melted my heart and made me very proud of her.

God doesn't always give us what we want but He never discounts our desires. We can choose to complain about what we don't have or we can choose to be thankful and content with what is given. As we celebrate Thanksgiving, and throughout our lives, may we melt His heart and make Him proud.

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalm 100:4

You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Psalm 118:28

Precious Gems

When my seventeen year old daughter told me she was pregnant, one of the first things I said to her was "I am not raising your child." I told her it was her responsibility and that I would help her, but I wasn't going to be her built-in babysitter or allow her to push her responsibility off on me. I was sincerely trying to instill an acceptance of the responsibility and consequences for her actions. What I didn't realize was that I had adopted the self serving way of the culture.

Soon after my grand-daughter's birth, God began showing me that being a grandparent carried much more responsibility than this culture would have us believe. It's not just fun and games and give the kids back when the fun is over. Lets look at these key phrases: "I am not raising your child" and "I am not a built-in babysitter". These are what I refer to as culturally correct phrases, but what do they say about who I am living for and who I am living to serve? God did not put me here to live for myself, but to live for Him and to serve others.

Yes, parents do have the primary responsibility to raise up their kids. But grandparents have so much to contribute to the lives of their grandchildren. Even if it means taking on some added responsibility. In some cases that may be what is necessary to protect the child or it may be the only opportunity the child has to learn to know and love the Lord.

I'm not suggesting that grandparents take over the role of the parent, nor am I suggesting that we become enablers. What I'm saying is that we do have a responsibility to contribute to the teaching and training of our grandchildren, to the extent that God will allow it. Grandparents have a big impact on the lives of these precious gems and we need to use it for Kingdom purposes.

From the time my first grand-daughter was born eleven years ago, you could hardly get her out of my arms. I was always praying over her and singing "Jesus Loves Me" to her to comfort her. Now I have been blessed with three beautiful grand-daughters. Three precious gems that I intend to polish so that the light of Christ shines brightly from them. I have purposed in my heart that I will do all that I can to teach them to know and love the Lord with all their heart, mind and soul.

I hope you will join me every other Wednesday as I share some of the lessons my grand-daughters and I are learning together, as well as some lessons God has taught me over the years about the impact of our actions for generations to come.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Deuteronomy 4:9