Baby Love

"Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God ~ for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." 1 John 4:7-10




It was a simple sticky note.
Yellow.
Stuck to my Bible on my nightstand. And it said,

"I'm not your baby anymore. But I still love you, mama."

I rubbed it gently between my fingers fighting my hot cheeks and imminent tears, as I grappled with the reality that my sweet kindergartener was beginning to show her independence and ability. I thought back to earlier in the day when I lovingly and with great affection answered my youngest with the words, "Yes, baby." Obviously, my gently used moniker for our little one left her feeling less than great. Compelled to tell me the truth, she left the note to make her point. How often does God point out the truth, painful as it is...always ending with, BUT I STILL LOVE YOU. A precious message and life lesson I received from my tender child that day.

This child...a child whom love escaped for quite a time. Living in an orphanage the first eleven months of her life, thrust into a new home, new world, new family. Not yet ready to love with full abandon, she eased her way into committment and attachment. Slowly, like a flower opening petal by petal, she grew and emerged, blossoming into the loving girl I now see. I adored her before I ever knew her; she had reason to doubt love. She has taught me daily about God's love...in the threshold of parenting, we can most closely feel that unconditional love God has shown us in the love we hold for our children. It is possibly one of the finest representations of that original love that we can find. He loved us before we loved Him. It is the simple truth.

As a toddler, our daughter held onto raw emotions, causing us to seek deeper, stronger, more passionately God's truths and how to parent her without shattering her beautiful spirit. The first time she uttered the words, "I love you Mama", she held my face in her little hands. She was two and a half and we were visiting my older daughter's school as they rehearsed for the winter concert. Literally, a choir of angels sang as she melted into my own frame. I have to believe that my rejoicing resembles that of the Lord's each time a new son or daughter receive Him lovingly into their hearts. Oh how He must dance!

May it be that in gladness, sadness, truthfulness, and life, we can accept God's instruction and guidance all the while knowing BUT HE STILL LOVES US.

"God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." Romans 5:8

Thoughts on the Movie Courageous

Thoughts on the Movie Courageous

Occasionally a movie both entertains and challenges you. Courageous did that for Cheryl and me when we watched it at our local theater last week.

As a husband and father I was challenged to reassess my roles in both of these relationships. Do I honor my wife as I should? Am I consciously attempting to lead her closer to God? I was also encouraged in my role and inspired to keep at with joy. The role models in the movie for being a better husband were not based on guys who were doing it perfectly; they were guys who struggle with the every day issues of life. In the movie they failed, they suffered heart break, they wandered from active faith, and they had to realign their lives with what God wanted for them. They were very believable characters the rest of us guys could relate to.

Photo compliments of Jenny Ann Photography

All three of my kids are raised, so the parts of the movie that addressed parenting to younger children addressed a situation in my life that is long gone. But, that didn’t keep me from reflecting on my continuing role as a dad. Even though my kids are raised, and the nature of our relationship has changed (with the two older ones we are enjoying more of a friend relationship now than parent-child), I am still their dad. As such, I still have a responsibility to them to function as a husband to their mother and a father to them, though in a different fashion now. I am not responsible for their decisions and behavior, but I can still influence them. Courageous encouraged me to think about these things in a fresh and exciting way.

Photo compliments of Jenny Ann Photography

I appreciated the fact that Courageous addresses the role of a father in a way that is not condescending or judgmental. It is hopeful and encouraging. While the movie is about dads there is something for everyone. Men, women, teenagers and even children will enjoy Courageous and benefit from it. If you haven’t seen it yet, don’t wait much longer!

Warren Baldwin

Home Dynamics

Home Dynamics

Businesses and churches often work with a game plan to achieve their goals and be successful. Game plans involve:

1) Identity

Sounds simple, but a clear understanding of one’s identity is critical. A business has to know if it makes shoes or bakes bread. A church has to know if it honors Christ or not. Identity leads to the next item in the game plan.

2) Purpose

Purpose is the fulfilment of one’s identity. If it is a show or bread company, they will produce those products.

3) Vision

Vision grows out of identity and purpose. Vision is the view for the future. Businesses ask how they can better produce their product, publicize their company, and market their product. Churches may envision reaching a particular neighborhood or segment of the population with the Gospel. Vision is where you see your self in one, five or ten years.

4) Function

Function simply means the company or church is now doing what it’s identity, purpose and vision leads them to. For a church, it would be preaching, teaching, leading others to Christ and maturing them in faith. For a business, it might be producing a product or shipping someone else’s product.

How does this apply to home dynamics? Businesses or churches can slip into daily routines and habits and never answer the larger questions of who are we? Why do we do what we do? What is our vision for the future? And what is the best way for us to do that?

Families can avoid those questions, too. Family life can become a series of routines: going to school, rushing to school and athletic functions, going to work, watching tv in the evening, going to church on Sunday. But where is the family heading to? What is the family becoming?

It is healthy for mom and dad to have some definite objectives for all their activity and function. A long drive to a ball game can become a meaningful event if the parents include some heart-felt discussion of an important spiritual or moral issue; church can become an opportunity for genuine spiritual revival and spiritual growth; school can become a conscious stepping-stone to advanced study or career preparation.

With definite identity, purpose, vision and function, families can become more than just harried robotans rushing, rushing, rushing, without any sense of cohesion or underlying purpose. They can become a unified whole moving toward something worthwhile, such as a closer-knit family, a place where Jesus is honored, and a community preparing for heaven.

Family can wander around in uncertainty and indirection, or it can march toward higher levels of relationship and function. The difference is often in the game plan we follow.

Warren Baldwin

What Makes a Dad

What Makes A Dad

God took the strength of a mountain, The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun, The calm of a quiet sea,

The generous soul of nature, The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages, The power of the eagle's flight,

The joy of a morning in spring, The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity, The depth of a family's need,

Then God combined these qualities, When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so,

He called it ... Dad

~Author Unknown~

Pretty high praise for a dad here! And I like it! I don't know if we are always that deserving of the praise provided here, but for those dads who ...

- place a priority on the home

- work hard to not let work encroach upon family functions

- honor their sons as young men

- honor their daughters as young ladies

- honor their wives as best friends, lovers, life partners, one flesh

- honor God above all ...

this praise may be fitting.

The bad fathering we see done, and the generational problems that ensue, might cause us to question the wisdom of the above poem. But when we see a dad playing ball with his kids, catching them at the bottom of the slide, carrying them around on his shoulders, and walking into the worship assembly with them, we know a masterpiece is still possible.

Warren Baldwin

(Note: Photo compliments of Amy Free Photography

Exemplary Leadership

Exemplary Leadership

James Kouzes and Barry Posner, in The Leadership Challenge Workbook, list five ways for people to provide healthy and consistent leadership.

1) Model the way
It is easy to teach how to live, but can we model the level of character we are teaching about?

2) Inspire a shared vision
Good leaders invite the people they are leading to have a stake not only in the organization as it currently exists, but in what it can become.

3) Challenge the process
If we look about us we might see things currently being done that are not effective. Questions might spark some ideas or make us aware of where and how we can do better. “Am I getting the results I would like?” is one such question.

4) Enable others to act
Leaders don’t do everything for everybody. Rather, they teach others how to care for themselves and fulfill their mission in life.

5) Encourage the heart.
Learning how to act on our own can be discouraging at times, so the leaders stand by to encourage them.

These five practices of exemplary leadership can be applied to businesses, community service clubs, and churches. It can even be applied to families.

Moms and Dads who do their jobs well are functioning with the five practices of exemplary leadership. If they teach their children to tell the truth, and they tell the truth themselves, they are modeling the right way to live.

If they share their view of the Christian life and encourage them to pursue that in their future, they are fulfilling number two, inspiring the shared vision.

If they question themselves at least occasionally about how well they are filling their role and how they could do better, they are challenging the process and are opening themselves up for more growth for themselves and their children. Questioning themselves doesn’t mean they are needlessly harsh or doubt their own value, but that they ask how they are doing and how they can do better.

Fourthly, healthy parents enable their children to act. They teach them proper behavior and as they mature and grow, give them rope to move and act. And when children move and act, they will make mistakes and even experience some rebellious streaks. Moms and dads will have to step in and reprimand and punish. But they will also step in with necessary encouragement so their hearts will not become discouraged (that’s number five).

Whether they are always aware of it or not, parents who function for the health of their family and children are practicing exemplary leadership. Thanks, moms and dads!

Warren Baldwin

Parenting Principles

PARENTING

Parenting isn’t easy. My dad often told me that the toughest job I would ever have would be to be a parent. It is a task we will be studying and re-evaluating the rest of our lives. Just when we think we have mastered a certain aspect of parenting, our kids throw us a curve. In fact, children have a way of throwing us curves on a daily basis!

It is freeing to me to think that there is not a list of “Seventeen Things You Must do to be a Perfect Parent and Have Your Children Turn Out Well.” Even if someone were to write such a book, our children wouldn’t read it! So, they won’t know how they are supposed to respond when their father or mother does point number seven or point number fourteen!

Of course, there are principles of parenting that God revealed thousands of years ago in his Word and we can read and apply today. Good parenting involves familiarizing ourselves with these principles and applying them as best we can in our family context. Principles of parenting offers freedom for the parent to respond to the need of each child within the framework of God’s will. A list of seventeen or any other number of rules for perfect parenting is not really parenting; it is manipulation. Parenting is a relationship built on trust; manipulation undermines that trust and foils relationship.

Please check back to read more because in upcoming weeks I will discuss the following principles for parenting:

1) Balancing love and control
2) Using action instead of anger in disciplining.
3) Disciplining with consistency, firmness and love.
4) Patience
5) Kindness
6) Teach-Discipline
7) Family bonding (Prov. 4)
8) Teaching responsibility

Warren Baldwin

Note: Thanks to everyone who inquired about our daughter, Kristin. She had 3 surgeries in 5 weeks (two of them major), and spent 18 of 30 days in the hospital. She missed her last 6 weeks of school, except for 3 days when she got to attend for 1/2 of the day. Still, she was able to walk at in the ceremony and still graduated with high honors. God is good! Thank you all. WB

What Parents Do

What Parents Do

Every once and a while a parent does something that makes them realize they made a right choice. Our daughter Kristin has had 3 surgeries in the last 4 weeks. She spent one 8 night, 9 day stretch in a hospital. I stayed a couple of nights and Cheryl stayed everyone. In her third trip to the OR and hospital, which began Thursday, May 5, Cheryl and I both spent the night.

I was in a chair by her bed, feeling quite weary. At 1 am she slipped her hand through the bed rail, grabbed my hand and said, "Thanks for staying, Dad." Right then I didn't need any more sleep that night.

I forgot my last post, and this one is going to be very short. I'm writing it in that same chair at 12:30 am. Cheryl's here being a mom; I'm here being a dad. Many of you readers have done and will do it. It's what parents do.

Warren

Memory

Memory

"The problem with growing up in a place so beautiful is they may not fully appreciate it."

We moved from the suburbs to the country when I was nine years old. The suburbs were nice, but nothing to compare with the beauty of the trees, streams, mountains and valleys of Vermont. And of course, the bright colors of the changing leaves. It was stunningly beautiful.


"Can you get over how beautiful this place is," were frequent expressions from mom and dad.

"No. It is amazing. I hope the kids will be able to appreciate it. The problem with growing up in a placle so beautiful is they may not fully appreciate it."

And we didn't. At least I didn't. At least not until years later when I would drive through the Wyoming countryside with my kids and ooh and aah at the mountains, valleys, and wildlife of that gorgeous state with my wife and three kids in the car.

One time I said to Cheryl about our kids, "The problem with growing up in a place so beautiful is tha they may not fully appreciate it." And then I remembered. And appreciated.

Memory is one of God's gifts to us, connecting us with past events and people. Sometimes the memories are painful. Sometimes they are full of joy. At times they are educational. Often, they connect us to the people and events that shaped us long ago. That happpened for me in a flash, 25 years after my parents' drive through the Vermont countryside. I felt connection and purpose.

I also realized that it isn't just the contours and colors of the countryside that matters the most, although the beauty of nature certainly has value in itself: God made it. But what matters most is how we experience it together. What we say. What the kids hear. Because years later, one of them will remember.

Warren Baldwin

Thanks to Karli Bonnie Photography for the beautiful picture of the leaves. It refreshed my memory and helped me remember.

Time and Kids

Time and Kids

Sometimes I feel time speeding by like the train in this picture (Thanks to Karli Bonnie Photography).

Our two college (actually, grad school) kids were home for a couple of weeks over Christmas. Now they are back in school. We did some of the things we planned to do, but not all. Time.

We sometimes think of time as our enemy - it is constantly working against us or trying to escape us. Actually, time is our friend. It is here for us to enjoy with the people we love and the things we like to do (and, yes, even some of the things we have to do :).

One daughter, a senior, remains at home. How can we use our remaining time with her as a friend rather than an enemy?

- Celebrate the minutes and hours we do have together. Make the time memorable.

- Enjoy the things she enjoys with her. Right now that is basketball, and so far we have seen every game #11 has played.






- Still take advantage of the teachable moments. We can't just get misty during the final months. There is still some bending of the twig left, and as responsible parents, we can't let all those opportunities fly by.

- Create momories that will last. Two things I do here. One, take lots of pictures. Two, keep a diary of the kids' last year at home. I give them the diary when they go off to college. That is a big hit (and don't just write the fun or pleasant things; write the real things as they happen).

Just a few suggestions, but ideas that will hopeful help us to wisely redeem the time with our older kids.


Warren

(Note: I don't know how this post will look when it actually posts. I spent way too much time trying to get the paragraphs right, but I simply cannot get rid of the big gaps. This is when time becomes the enemy :).

Heritage

HERITAGE

"Do not move an ancient boundary stone set up by your fathers." Proverbs 22:28

I have a vague memory of boundary stones on our farm in Vermont and my two acres in Wyoming. Those markers set the limits of my property. They also set the limits of the property bordering mine. We knew where Our property and rights extended and ended. No questions. Like fences, boundary markers make good friends. They establish borders, determine rights and provide order. If both sides of the boundary stones respect the markers, there is peace and order.

So, Solomon says, respect those markers! Don’t move them. You threaten a person’s livelihood if you move a marker and deprive a landowner of his property! In ancient Israel, and even for some in modern America, the land provides the food and the income for a family to survive. Deprive that family of income potential from the land and you may bankrupt that family.

Those ancient boundary markers did more than guarantee property lines and rights; they provided a sense of continuity. In ancient Israel the property that God blessed each household with was passed on to succeeding generations. Fathers passed the land on to sons who then passed it on to their sons. Generations of a family would be raised on the same property, harvesting the same fields, wading the same creeks, and plucking fruit from the same trees. Those boundary markers provided a very important sense of stability for families, and that stability became an important element of the family’s, and society’s, heritage.

So, if you moved an ancient boundary stone, you actually did more than disrupt the livelihood of that family, as important as that was. If you moved that stone you "destroyed the social order and well being of individuals in the community." (Bland, p.206-07). You upset the order and tore at the heritage.

There is great importance to this verse. Is there anything in our lives that provides a sense of heritage for us, a sense of continuity with our ancestors, a connection with our past? Is there something we can hold on to as a connection to grandma and grandpa, even great grandma and grandpa? Fortunate are those who grow up on a farm and can say, "My dad and his mom were both born and raised on this farm. I’m the fourth generation in my family to farm this land." That is happening less and less.

In my own family it was the construction business that helped provide some of that heritage for me. I remember seeing tools of my dad’s marked, "Baldwin and Baldwin." "Are these tools from the business you owned with grandpa," I asked dad. "No," he said. "These are tools from the business your grandpa owned with your great grandpa." At age 13 I was assembling some of the equipment my great grandfather used back in 1930. That is heritage, a connection with my past, a boundary marker that establishes order, permanence and stability.

My own children did not have the benefit of being raised on a farm or in a business that had been worked by four generations of my family. But I have found something that does serve as such a boundary marker for them, something that promotes heritage and stability. It is worship. My kids worship with their mother and me. At the same time and in other places, both sets of grandparents are worshiping. When a certain song is sung, I can lean over and whisper to one of my kids, "That was one of great grandpa’s favorite songs. When I was your age, I remember him leading this song all the time. He would sing it with his eyes closed he knew it so well." And with that I plant a boundary marker that will remain in place throughout the lifetime of my kids. It is a marker that connects them with grandparents, great grandparents, and even great, great grandparents, a marker that will weekly remind them of who they are, who they belong to, and how they are to live. Worship is an "ancient boundary stone set up by our fathers," so let’s plant those markers deep into the hearts of our children and grandchildren.

Warren Baldwin

From: Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and Other Gems From Proverbs

See You At The Ballpark

SEE YOU AT THE BALLPARK

Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds; for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations. Proverbs 27:23–24

Many of the proverbs were written for family farmers and ranchers. This proverb addresses a small rancher whose livelihood is staked to the health of his cattle or sheep. It is only through tireless devotion to his herd that the rancher will ensure the health of his animals and the financial survival of his family. Drought, disease, and wild animals are always on the prowl looking for unprotected beasts to assail! The rancher must keep watch to ward off the attackers.

The principle of daily diligence applies to all of life. Faithful performance in our jobs is necessary whether it be feeding animals or entering data into a computer. Daily diligence by mom and dad means being alert to dangers facing our families. Parents who are too busy, children without supervision, and television that is not monitored are modern assaults on the health of a family. Parental diligence demands that we give careful attention to "our herds," our families. Look for the signs of health and happiness. Do the children walk through the house and sing? Do they devise simple games to occupy themselves? Do they listen to and obey the voice of mom and dad? Is "I love you" frequently heard? Does bedtime mean hugs, stories, and being tucked in? These are signs of happy and contented children. When their behavior becomes disruptive, can it be quickly stilled by mom and dad’s strong presence and voice?

To be able to have this kind of influence in a home, mom and dad must be in the home. They must be active in the family. Children left to raise themselves will . . . but not very effectively. Their lack of discipline and maturity will set the tone for the family and create disorder and chaos. Only the loving presence of mom and dad can instill order and peace.

There are a lot of demands on time and resources that work against parents dedicating the time and energy required to give diligent attention to family health. Jobs, financial demands, insecurity, and exhaustion plague all of us, robbing us of energy and confidence. Every parent struggles with these assaults, but the successful parents persevere, consistently applying care and attention to their flocks.

As our children grow older, spending time with them isn’t as simple as reading a bedtime story or kicking a soccer ball in the yard. In high school, it means traveling across the state to watch them swing a bat or fly over a hurdle. Considerable time and money are involved! Is it worth it? Does this have anything to do with giving attention to our "herd?" Listen to these words from a young friend of mine: "My dad has never been to one of my games."

A high school senior shared these words with Cheryl and me as he was showing us the trophies of his baseball career. His pitching struck fear into opponents and confidence into his team. He claimed many victories and received numerous awards. As he looked at the trophy in his hands, a note of sadness came over his face, and he softly said, "My dad has never been to one of my games."

Missing four years of his son’s games was merely symptomatic of this dad’s failure to monitor the health of his family. He simply wasn’t present. His son could not bask in the glory of his baseball success because he was silently grieving that he couldn’t share it with his dad. Dad’s inattentiveness bred hurt and bitterness into the heart of his family. His herd suffered.

Think about Proverbs 27:23–24 applied to the family: "Be sure you know the condition of your family, give careful attention to your children; for closeness does not endure, and family health is not secure for all generations." Healthy families are not only possible; they are promised by God, if we approach our role as parents with daily diligence, feeding, teaching, and nurturing our young ones. If that includes attending their sports activities, then I’ll see you at the ballpark. Or the golf course, as the case may be, as today we are following our high school daughter around 18 holes of gold in her regional tournament. (This is Kristin pictured in a recent tournament).

(This article is from Roaring Lions, Cracking Rocks and Other Gems from Proverbs)

Warren Baldwin

DISCIPLINE IS LOVE - Part 2

A child should be shown from an early age about making a choice to obey his father and mother always. When a child chooses to disobey ~ there must be consequences set forth ~ so that the discipline brings them back to the path of choosing obedience first.

To obey or not to obey? ~ this is the question of life – both for children and for us as adults in our walk with God. Using examples in our own life [to our children] of how God disciplines us and how we set forth to choose obedience ~ can help the child develop the same pattern.

All our efforts to discipline our children should result in teaching them to love God and ~ that God loves them!

God’s Word says:

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (New King James Version)
5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. [emphasis added]

Psalm 25:8-10 (New Living Translation)
8 The Lord is good and does what is right;

He shows the proper path to those who go astray.

9 He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them His way.

10 The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all who keep His covenant and obey His demands.

Do you see the pattern? In essence, God says to us here, “Go and do likewise!”
What pattern of discipline [or lack of] are you setting forth in your home?

Your comments are intended to help others who may be struggling.

Choosing JOY,

College Visit

College Visit

This week's post will be very short. Three-and-a-half years ago Cheryl and I drove our daughter Jenny 12 hours away to college. She is now a senior, getting ready to graduate in December, a semester early. She is student teaching this fall.

The school she attends is a Christain college and they have a Bible lectureship every fall, which happens to be this week. I just arrived on campus (2 a.m.) and am looking forward to spending 2 1/2 days with Jenny (as her time will permit).

That is why this week's post is so short. But it also has an important message. Dads, when you can, spend time with the kids, even when they are no longer kids.

Pics - when we dropped her off 3 1/2 years ago; assisting me in a wildlife presentation at an elementary school.

Warren

A PARENT'S AUTHORITY

A PARENT'S AUTHORITY

How does an umpire establish his authority? From the very beginning the umpire’s authority is established by his equipment: he wears a uniform that sets him apart from everyone else, he has protective gear, such as a face mask, a brush for the plate and a counter to record statistics by each inning. An umpire’s authority is further established by his demeanor on the field. He does not have to walk out onto the field barking orders. He can walk out straight and confident, and everyone picks up on the fact that this man is in charge of the game.

I have seen umpires behave beneath the dignity of their position. I’ve seen umpires lose control, erupt in anger and get in arguments with fans and yell at coaches, "Shut your mouth!" Such umpires are trying to impose an authoritarian flavor on their role, but they are not winning the respect or confidence of the players, coaches or fans.

In the same way, parents can act in anger and assert an authoritarian posture. They can threaten, holler, and, when they totally lose self-control, beat their kids (as distinguished from spanking). These parent may force certain behavior at a specific time, but they are not securing the confidence and respect of their children. A consequence of this is that they are not planting their values and ethics in the child. Only when their values and ethics become a part of the fabric of the child will those values and ethics guide the child in his or her life.

As parents, we want our children to respect us and to obey our voice. When they are young that means we want them to clean their rooms, not jump on the sofa, pet the dog gently, not throw temper tantrums, stay out of the road. When they are older, respecting our authority means they will not engage in dangerous behavior (e.g., drinking), will date someone who reflects the family’s ethics, will go to college and eventually get a job. We can’t force those behaviors over the long haul. All we can do is train and discipline consistently over time, with authority, and allow this kind of character and ethic to be planted, take root, and grow within them. It is the action of a secure parent that produces this kind of long term goal, not the anger of a parent who is insecure in his or her position, or is too permissive, and whose temper erupts when the child has disobeyed.

"Anger does not influence behavior unless it implies that something irritating is about to happen. By contrast, disciplinary action does cause behavior to change. ... How much better is it to use action to achieve the desired behavior and avoid the emotional outburst." ( The New Strong-Willed Child, pp.78&80).

It is a constant, ongoing challenge of parenting to balance love and control, to discipline with consistency, and to act out of commitment to firm action and not anger. Perhaps we can learn something from the umpire who carries himself with assurance and authority that, indeed, he is in charge of this game, and because of that, he can conduct his business with confidence and decisiveness. Sure makes the game go more smoothly when the umpire knows his position and handles it with dignity!

Warren Baldwin

Summertime - A Season of Opportunity

How's your summer going? How about for your children?

My summer has been great - but busy! We've spent a large chunk of time swimming at the pool, the beach, and even hanging out at the mall. We've had play dates with friends, and birthday parties to attend.

Summer is the season for vacations, right? Sure it is! It could also be the perfect opportunity to help your kids step out of their comfort zones and share about Jesus while they're playing.

We've spent some time talking with our kids about the importance of sharing God's love with others. They are getting the same teaching from our church.

Boldness - that's really what we are trying to teach them. So how do you teach something like that? Especially if you have a fairly shy child?

Well, here are some examples we've been using:

First, we let our kids go into a small market (like a gas station or 7-11) and buy some gum - without mom or dad. We just give them the money and tell them to handle it themselves.

Another boldness builder is to have your kids ask a clerk for the location of a specific item in the grocery store (being sure to respond politely).

Next, have them invite other kids to join them in an organized game at the pool or park.

I've also spent time giving my kids one-liners to use when they first meet a new potential friend.(I've seen my 4 year old use these lines - you never know who's listening!)

These kinds of things don't come naturally to every personality type. However, we need to learn how to be comfortable talking with others in order to fulfill the Great Commission.

The next step is to have them share about Jesus in some way. Take this opportunity to let your kids come up with sample ideas. (One example is to have your child take an extra popsicle to another kid at the pool and just say, "I just wanted to tell you that Jesus loves YOU." Then they just walk away.) It's a fun way to prepare them to do God's work.

Oh, be prepared, because the best way to lead is by example!

"Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." 1 Corinthians 9:25 (NIV emphasis mine)

MIGHTY WARRIORS

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Stephanie K. Brower, a follower of Jesus Christ for the last 40 years of my life, also known as TRUTHSHARER. I am a Mom to three, Rebekah, Amy, and Jeffrey... a Mother-in-law to Rob, Daniel, and Susy..... a Mom-Mom to eight precious 'Kingdom Warriors' ~ in order of birth they are: Justin [6], Drew [5], Ethan [4], Jyden [4], Tessa [3], Braden[2], Malachi [1 -1/2] and Collin [1]. I am also a widow of almost four years. I have dedicated my life to full-time ministry in whatever God brings my way.

I hope you will enjoy my new column at Titus 2 in Action called: MIGHTY WARRIORS to gain some practical insight through prayer, in raising children and grandchildren in the light of God's Word - His TRUTH - with purpose - God's kingdom purpose .

I am blessed to join these other writers as we share our lives with you including our mistakes, frustrations, and faults. Hopefully, it will help you to learn to grow in faith toward Jesus Christ and follow His plan for what He desires to pass on to your children and grandchildren - as an ambassador in your family.

Please join me today in a special walk down 'memory lane' in my family heritage!
Genesis 10:7-9 (NIV)
7 The sons of Cush: Seba, Havilah, Sabtah, Raamah and Sabteca.
The sons of Raamah: Sheba and Dedan.
8 Cush was the father of Nimrod, who grew to be a mighty warrior on the earth. 9 He was a mighty hunter before the LORD; that is why it is said, "Like Nimrod, a mighty hunter before the LORD."

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Footnotes: Genesis 10:8

Father may mean ancestor or predecessor or founder... [from BibleGateway.com]

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Judges 6:11-12 (NIV)
11 The angel of the LORD came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites. 12 When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon,

He said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."

[all Scripture emphasis added]

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What kind of 'father' ~ ['mother'] ~ ancestor ~ predecessor ~ founder ~ do you desire to be in your family? Are you a first generation believer following Jesus who is the Way the Truth and the Life? Are you the first one in your family to name the Name of Christ? Or perhaps a second or third generation? Perhaps there was a 'founder' of faith in your family - perhaps a grandparent or great aunt someone who prayed for you - someone who sought after your good by speaking LIFE into your little life as a child?

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God spoke life into Gideon. He spoke of what he was to become - the way God saw him in his kingdom and for His purpose. We can follow this pattern from God - to speak life into our little loved ones. Note: a Dragonfly is a sign of a Warrior. You might even want to encourage your kids to collect them - just as a reminder of what you are praying for them. It's just a 'symbol' for them to understand better these scriptures portrayed in light our prayers for them.

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How do you speak that life of faith into your children and grandchildren now? Even if you are not a parent - you can and will speak something into the life of another and most likely a child. We all have the ability [from God] to see these precious little ones as God's Mighty Warriors in the kingdom of God.

When my husband, Bob, was fighting his 5 year battle with cancer, we were blessed in the second year of that battle with out first grandchild [who is now six years old]. Grandchildren did not come easy in our family. My oldest daughter, Rebekah, at that time, had already lost six babies to miscarriage. The doctors were unsure if her body would ever allow her to carry her own offspring. My daughter-in-law , Susy, also lost 2 babies to miscarriage. Many prayed for them. We all prayed. What was going on? Would I never see the fruit of my womb be blessed with fruit from their womb? In the meantime, my middle daughter, Amy, got pregnant and almost lost her first son prior to delivery in the hospital. Justin was only 4 lbs. 5 oz. at birth [see top photo]. Note: Photo of boy with Bible storybook is Justin.

Having cancer gave my husband a new perspective on life and also on the life of his [our]new grandchild. After those first six miscarriages that my oldest daughter, Rebekah had, she and her husband decided to ask God one last time to allow them a child of their own. This time - it happened. Miracle #7 was born. His name is Andrew [Drew]. He was our second grandchild.

Thus began a prayer that my husband uttered before the Lord one morning ... "Lord, will You bless these children and make them into 'Mighty Warriors' for Your kingdom purposes that You desire them to be?"

The prayer didn't end there - it began there. Together we prayed, "Lord, give these children [and those still to come] a life of faith. Please bring them to Jesus at an early age to understand and love and know YOU, as Savior and Lord of their lives. Grow them into the roles that they will play in your kingdom purposes. Make them strong and bold and powerful to bring glory to Your Name!"

Then came Ethan... then Jyden [which means Jehovah-Jireh [the Lord will provide]... and then Tessa Hope [our only girl]. God extended Bob's life for 124 days [in a miracle of events] in which he was able to see and hold these last two [of five] who were born before his home going to heaven.

Now I am responsible for carrying on that same prayer that my husband began for his grandchildren - his heritage - his inheritance. "With blessing comes responsibility," my friend Nancy, reminded me. I have been blessed with three more grandchildren since that time, Braden, Malachi, and Collin. Bob never saw or knew the last three [and more to come I hope] but his prayer and his legacy of faith lives on in the lives of those little ones.

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Psalm 22:27-31 [NKJV]

27 All the ends of the world

Shall remember and turn to the LORD,

And all the families of the nations

Shall worship before You.

28 For the kingdom is the LORD’s,

And He rules over the nations.

29 All the prosperous of the earth

Shall eat and worship;

All those who go down to the dust

Shall bow before Him,

Even he who cannot keep himself alive.

30 A posterity [seed] shall serve Him.

It will be recounted of the Lord to the next generation,

31 They will come and declare His righteousness to a people who will be born,

That He has done this. [all Scripture emphasis added]

In their young lives, already Justin [our oldest] and Drew [the second oldest] have come to receive Jesus into their heart and life. Drew is one of the MK's now serving with his parents in Haiti! At age 5 he wants to tell people about Jesus' love for them.

Will you speak LIFE into your offspring? Will you PRAY earnestly for them to be MIGHTY WARRIOR'S in the kingdom of God for His glory and purpose?

Father God ~ You are Sovereign over all creation. I pray today for those reading this post - that they will find HOPE here ~ they will find JOY in You ~ they will find the Word of TRUTH here ~ they will find Your kingdom purpose in raising families that will bring You glory. Lord, bring all of our precious offspring and ourselves as well ~ in line with being Mighty Warriors in this kingdom age ~ as we live out our journey connecting and encouraging one another along the way. For this we give You Praise and Glory due Your Name! Amen and Amen!

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Choosing JOY in our Heritage,

I'M BORED!

Summer is finally here!  School let out and within one week we were on the road headed for Walt Disney World, Florida.  Ahhh, life seemed good. 

Vacation ended and the following week we spent at doctors appointments, and catching up on laundry and T.V., "Is this how everyone starts out their summers?"

Anyhow, next thing I knew, I had a list of summer projects on paper ready to be checked off. Life seemed good, until my son popped into the kitchen and said, "I'm bored!"

The words echoed in my head, and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end!!! BORED? I thought. How could he be bored with so much to be done around here? We have every amenity known to man, (or child) how can he be bored?

Then it occurred to me that I had a schedule for myself, but my children's days were primarily unscheduled. They lacked direction for the summer.

So with some prayer and guidance from my husband, we've come up with a light summer schedule for them. This new schedule will let them know when they should play outside, when they can watch T.V., and when they will be having mandatory book reading/quiet time each day.

Now, armed with a schedule (which is subject to change if we decide to go to the pool, or out with friends), they won't have time to feel "bored." Instead they will have the direction they need.

Oh, did I also mention that we BANNED that word from our house?

How are things at your house so far? Has the dreaded "B" word come into play? If so, try the light summer schedule. Being on a schedule is part of our human nature - given to us by God Himself at creation.

Here's to a joy filled summer! Amen!

The Gift of Creativity

Summer break is here!  What in the world are we supposed to do with these children?

We could try entertaining them, or let them watch countless hours of T.V.. Or, we could give them the gift of creativity this summer.

This is how it works. Check your local newspaper for fun places in your town you've never visited with the kids before. In my town, we have a pizza place called, Bottoms Up Pizza and it's in the heart of the city. It's more than just a pizza joint as it has a lot of personality.

Next, I'll give my kids a writing assignment. Here's how it will look:

I'll start the story: "Once upon a time, there was a family with six children. One day, this family decided to drive into downtown Richmond to eat lunch. Out of nowhere, they came upon a huge sign that read, "Bottoms Up Pizza." They parked their van and decided to go inside. Once inside...

Now the kids need to go to their rooms to complete the story. I will have my four year old tell me her version and I'll write it down for her.

Next we get together and read them out loud. To celebrate a job well done, we get in the van and actually go to Bottoms Up Pizza!

You can use this tool as often as you'd like. It's a great way to plan fun memory making days with your whole family!

I'd love to hear how it goes, so if you think about it, come back by and leave a comment with what you did and how it worked!

Did You Ask Me?

"Sonya, would you be willing to give a little encouraging talk to the Mom's of the preschoolers next month?" Asked the preschool teacher at my Christian school.

"I'd love to!" I responded.  Immediately, I knew what to talk about. I would make journals for the moms (all 18 of us) and then talk about how fast they grow up; and how we need to keep a journal for all of the little things we want to remember about this time with them.

The weekend before the talk, my children helped me decorate the plain journals we bought.  This was a project we had made before, so what could possibly go wrong? EVERYTHING!

The night before my talk, one of my daughters informed me that the journals had not dried, in fact, they were tacky to touch! OH NO! I thought. It was too late to run to the store, so I just went to bed and prayed. The next morning, I prayed this, "Lord, what am I going to do? I cannot give the planned speech, without the journals."

In my heart I heard the Lord whisper, "Did you ask Me?" 

My heart sank, I realized in my excitement, I forgot to ask God what He wanted me to talk about. So I sheepishly said, "I'm sorry, what do you want me to tell these mom's?"

Teach them to come to Me whenever they are at a decision making crossroad with their children. At those moments, no matter how big or small, if parents would hear Me saying, "Did you ask Me?" They will be blessed, and I will answer them.

Proverbs 16:3 "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."

The speech turned out to be encouraging, both to me and some of the other mom's.  God is good!

Just like Putting on a Coat

"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified."  Isaiah 61:3 (KJV Italics mine)

As adults, we've all had times when we were down about this or that and then we forced ourselves to praise God. Suddenly, we noticed the feeling of heaviness lifting off of us. I know for myself, it works every time!

I love the verse in Isaiah that talks about an actual garment of praise which will replace the spirit of heaviness. It is powerful truth, so how do we encourage our children to try this? Have you ever tried to force your child to sing a praise song when they were in a bad mood? I have, and it hasn't worked for me! I can't force them to praise. Choosing to praise is an act similar to that of putting on a coat. I can give you a coat, but unless you lift your arms and put it on, it won't keep you warm.

Just last week, as I was driving my children to school, three of my kids began bickering in the back seat. It was the second day in a row that fighting broke out on our 15 minute drive. Trust me when I say that by the time we got to school everyone was in a bad mood, and you could feel the heaviness in our van. Noticing this bad pattern, I decided to try a different approach the next morning. We got into the car and as soon as the bickering began I simply turned on the childrens praise CD I had secretly inserted earlier. By the end of the second song, most of my kids were singing along and the rest of the ride to school was delightful! They even began talking about "funny" things that had happened to them recently. What a delightful change!

Hey, sometimes us Mom's need to be sneaky in our teaching!