Friday, July 1, 2011

Him vs. Her

In many ways, my husband and I fall squarely within traditional, stereotypical roles. Jeff goes to work while I stay home with the kids. But there are some things we do differently from the "norm."

For instance, Jeff knows exactly how much paprika is needed while I am busy trying to decipher a recipe that looks, to me, more like hieroglyphics.  Jeff can also grow real life vegetables from actual dirt while I am busy trying to figure out how to drag the hose that far.

On the other hand, I am comfortable changing the oil in our car while Jeff is trying to . . .  oh, wait, he  can do that too. Well, I can balance the checkbook while . . . come to think of it, he does that better too.

In fact, I am hard-pressed to find something I am better at. And wrapping presents (with neither the tape nor the paper-creases showing) doesn't count. The truth is, my husband is good at a lot of things. (It's rather annoying sometimes.)

Have you ever found yourself trying to compete with your spouse at something? Anything?

I can attest: it's not a great way to go. For starters, it pits you in a race against your spouse. And you're supposed to be on the same team! For another thing, it doesn't foster an attitude of appreciation for the unique benefits that each of you bring to the marriage.

I may not have received a W-2 form in nearly a decade. And I may not be a very good cook. There very well may be a number of household-kinds-of-tasks that I would much prefer parceling out if I could. But I can say that I make our house a home. In lots of little ways. I enjoy it too. Making our home "homey" makes me smile.

In all honesty, Jeff and I work pretty well together. That is, when I'm not griping about how much better he is at stuff than me. We need each other. He couldn't do what he does every day unless I did what I do every day.

Have you ever found yourself competing with your spouse over something silly? What did you learn from it?



Warren Baldwin said...

If I compete with my spouse I usually lose, too. Cheryl does so many things better.

But she doesn't change the oil. Or even top it off when it gets low :)

Not getting a W-2 form in ten years ... a number of Proverbs come to mind: 12:4; 14:1a; 18:22. I know Jeff and me and a bunch of other husbands can say, "Amen" when reading these passages.

Good post. wb

Marsha @Spots and Wrinkles said...

What a good post! And on such a potentially "tense topic" - competition in marriage.

I have tried it a few times and it did not turn out well. I did not mean to try it, but I just couldn't help myself.

I think that is called being human. :) These few things I know, I would rather not attempt it again, God does not recommend it, and nothing good can come of it.