In the beginning man had a heart for God and a heart for his wife. Man communed personally with God. But God knew something was missing for the man, Adam. All the animals of the field had a mate and a companion. While Adam had God to commune with, he had no other human being with whom he could share his heart and body.
So God made Eve and Adam was happy! Any time a man breaks out in a poem you know he has been deeply touched! Looking at Eve’s beautiful form for the first time Adam extolled, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man." (Genesis 2:23). Adam knew that Eve was for him and he was exultant! She would complement his heart, his mind and his body. All of his mental and sexual energy would be satisfied by the beautiful woman standing before him. Eve was Adam’s wife and he was happy.
What happened to this wonderful first marriage? Adam became discontented with God and ate of the fruit that was forbidden to him. Not being contented with God led to not being contented with his wife. We don’t know that Adam ever stepped out on Eve or was abusive to her in anyway, but we do know that after the Fall the innocence of both the husband and the wife was shattered. The focus of Adam and Eve was shifted from the other to self. Instead of being other-conscious and basking in the beauty of his wife Adam became self-conscious and covered up his body. When Adam took his focus off serving God it followed that he took his focus off serving his wife and he focused on serving himself.
Men, if we ever become discontented with our wives, it is probably because we have first experienced a discontentment with God. We aren’t in prayer, we aren’t in Bible study, we aren’t actively thanking God for all his blessings in our lives. One of God’s blessings to a man is his wife. She is God’s blessing to meet our companionship and sexual needs. If a man becomes critical of his wife and starts looking at and bonding with other women (or pictures!), he is not thanking God for the gift of his bride! He is withdrawing from God and from God’s gift to him.
Develop a heart for God and a heart for your wife will follow.
Question: What are some ways you have felt discontented with your wife? How does this discontentment with her demonstrate an even deeper discontentment with God?
Suggestion: Offer a prayer of thanks to God for his greatest gift of companionship to you: your bride. Thank him for the gift of conversation, friendship, sexual fulfillment and spiritual encouragement you enjoy with her. Even if all these blessings are not as fulfilling as you would like, thank God anyway, because you wouldn’t have them to any degree without her!
Meditate: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man." (Genesis 2:23)