Baby Love

"Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God ~ for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." 1 John 4:7-10




It was a simple sticky note.
Yellow.
Stuck to my Bible on my nightstand. And it said,

"I'm not your baby anymore. But I still love you, mama."

I rubbed it gently between my fingers fighting my hot cheeks and imminent tears, as I grappled with the reality that my sweet kindergartener was beginning to show her independence and ability. I thought back to earlier in the day when I lovingly and with great affection answered my youngest with the words, "Yes, baby." Obviously, my gently used moniker for our little one left her feeling less than great. Compelled to tell me the truth, she left the note to make her point. How often does God point out the truth, painful as it is...always ending with, BUT I STILL LOVE YOU. A precious message and life lesson I received from my tender child that day.

This child...a child whom love escaped for quite a time. Living in an orphanage the first eleven months of her life, thrust into a new home, new world, new family. Not yet ready to love with full abandon, she eased her way into committment and attachment. Slowly, like a flower opening petal by petal, she grew and emerged, blossoming into the loving girl I now see. I adored her before I ever knew her; she had reason to doubt love. She has taught me daily about God's love...in the threshold of parenting, we can most closely feel that unconditional love God has shown us in the love we hold for our children. It is possibly one of the finest representations of that original love that we can find. He loved us before we loved Him. It is the simple truth.

As a toddler, our daughter held onto raw emotions, causing us to seek deeper, stronger, more passionately God's truths and how to parent her without shattering her beautiful spirit. The first time she uttered the words, "I love you Mama", she held my face in her little hands. She was two and a half and we were visiting my older daughter's school as they rehearsed for the winter concert. Literally, a choir of angels sang as she melted into my own frame. I have to believe that my rejoicing resembles that of the Lord's each time a new son or daughter receive Him lovingly into their hearts. Oh how He must dance!

May it be that in gladness, sadness, truthfulness, and life, we can accept God's instruction and guidance all the while knowing BUT HE STILL LOVES US.

"God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." Romans 5:8

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day

Legend has it that a 3rd c. Roman emperor forbid young soldiers from marrying lest they lose their zest to fight for the empire. A priest named Valentine, disagreeing with the emperor's edict, performed secret weddings for the young men. He was arrested, imprisoned and executed. But, before he died, he sent a letter to a young woman signed, "From, your Valentine."

Thus began a tradition that today sees nearly 1 billion Valentine's cards purchased to express love and devotion. Eighty-five percent of those cards are purchased by women.

Husbands: Valentine's is a day to say "Thanks, I love You, I'd Marry You Again, I Enjoy Our Life Together." It doesn't cost much money, take much time, require great effort. But, it can mean so much.

Let's not neglect an opportunity to participate in the spirit of ol' St. Valentine (even if it is just a legend) and write that much appreciated note and give that much deserved gift. She deserves it.

Warren Baldwin

God So Loved the World

God So Loved the World

I don't profess to understand the level of love that sent Jesus. Nor do I understand the level of love that said, "Yes, I'll go."

But sure am thankful for that love. And I will celebrate that love, birth and salvation this season. Hope you will, too.

Photograph used by permission of Karli Bonnie Photography

Warren Baldwin

The Language of Love

The language of love is a beautiful thing, when it's being spoken. Are you and your spouse speaking love to one another?

There are several books out there about the different love languages.  The five most talked about are:  Personal Touch and Closeness, Words of Encouragement, Acts of Kindness, Quality Time, and Gift Giving.

While the books emphasize finding our top language and then expecting others to speak it, I've learned we should be speaking all of them to our mate at different times.    The problem usually lies with us.  We tend to speak the love language we are craving while our spouse may be desiring a different one.

For my date idea, I would like to challenge you to use the five love languages listed here to communicate to your spouse over the next week.

Make a list of at least one thing you could try each day to express love in a different way.

Here are some examples:

Gift Giving: Buy him/her a small trinket that they would like, or even a special treat from the grocery store that you put in their lunch (if you pack their lunch).

Words of Encouragement: Spend the day making a list of their good qualities, or of the things you've noticed that they've done around the house over the past few weeks. Try leaving the note of "thanks for all they do" on their pillow.

Quality Time: Plan a romantic breakfast, lunch, or dinner where you draw them out and try to be a good listener (remember this is about them not you!).

Acts of Kindness: Take over one of their chores (without them asking first). Go to the dump for them, or take out the garbage for a few days. Mow the lawn, or weed eat for them. Make it something they will notice so they feel the love.

Personal Touch and Closeness: Watch a movie together holding hands, go out to eat and sit on the same side of the booth so you can play footsie's and hold hands.

Love is the universal language, let's all speak it this week!

DISCIPLINE IS LOVE = Part 4 Wrap-Up

DISCIPLINE IS LOVE = Part 4
Wrap-Up
by Stephanie K. Brower © 2010

Respect [for God’s and the parent’s authority] is developed through discipline. Take time to properly discipline your children. Properly, meaning: with thought, with action, at the time when the problem occurs. It may not always be easy. It might even be embarrassing, but the closer you bring the discipline action to the time of the incident, the better. Your authority as the parent and your follow-through, is key for the child to know that the boundaries you have set in advance – hold!

If your children are a bit older, these are great passages to share/discuss with them from God’s Word.

Jeremiah 6:16 [NIV]
This is what the LORD says:
"Stand at the crossroads and look;
ask for the ancient paths,
ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
and you will find rest for your souls.
But you said, 'We will not walk in it.'

Proverbs 23:10 [NIV]
Do not move an ancient boundary stone or encroach on the fields of the fatherless,

Parents must discipline together – on the same page – with the rules and boundaries laid out for the child/children in advance! Be consistent. Be firm. Show grace to the child if it benefits. And give lots of hugs and kisses before and after discipline to affirm your love for them, especially if they are young. In doing so, you can teach them to do the same.

Luke 11:17 [NIV]
Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: "Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall. [emphasis added]

Children love and need boundaries so they know where the line is drawn. Boundaries set forth in advance must be held up by both parents.

Proverbs 13:24 [NIV]
He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

No other verse should be pondered more than this last one. Do I hate my son or daughter? If we do not discipline, the Bible says that we hate them. That’s pretty strong language from God’s heart. It must be very important. The best gift we can leave our children is a heart of discipline in love. They may not thank us for it when they are young – but they will later.

Proverbs 19:18 [NLT]
Discipline your children while there is hope.
Otherwise you will ruin their lives.

I will be leaving Titus 2 in Action because of other added responsibilities. Many thanks to Sonya Thompson and the other writers, for allowing me the opportunity to share God's Word on this site. And thank you to all the visitors who care enough to read and ponder what is offered here! Remember to pray for your children and grandchildren to become Mighty Warriors in the kingdom of God for His glory and purpose!

May God continue to richly bless you. I love you all!

Choosing JOY,

CALLING THEM 'FAVORITES'?

John 13:1, 22-23, 34-35

1 It was just before the Passover Feast.

Jesus knew that the time had come for Him to leave this world and go to the Father.

Having loved His own who were in the world,

He now showed them the full extent of His love.

22 His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them He meant. 23 One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to Him.

34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another."

John 21:7a Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!"

Have you ever had a grandmother who played "favorites" with her grandchildren? Maybe an aunt or uncle, or a grandfather, played 'favorites' in your family?

Perhaps a parent you had may have 'favored' one child over another during your lifetime

which didn't make you feel very loved, much less the 'favorite' of the children.

Allow me share a true story with you. Let this real life story paint a picture of

how our Father [God] sees those who are called His children.

Perhaps it will alter your view of playing 'favorites' with your children

- but in a way you never expected!

Back in May, I attended the funeral service of my friend's husband, Ray,

who had fought a hard battle with cancer.
Having lost my own husband to cancer, I wanted to be there to support the family.

Ray was a Jewish believer who had known Yeshua

many years of his life as His Savior and Lord.

Ray and his wife had three children, all married

with children of their own.

I lost count of how many there were.

The service began as a celebration of Ray's life

and being the humorous man that he was

there was tale after tale of practical jokes and stories

that could hold our attention for hours.

It was obvious how much this man had touched many lives all over the room, with his humor and his deep abiding love for others.

But~ when I listened to each of Ray's children, share about their father,

each one said the same thing,

"I was my daddy's favorite child."

Each gave testimony after testimony of how and why this father called 'them' his 'favorite'.

Then, after all of the children had shared, several of the young grandchildren got up and shared about life with their grandfather.

A 9 year old got up.

"I was my Grandpa's favorite."

Then, from another grandchild, about 12 years old standing tall,

a story soon emerged about how her grandpa made her feel like

'she was the only one in the world

who carried his love for her.'

How could this be, you might ask as I did? How could there be more than one favorite? I tell you that each one in that family was so special to Ray that he was likened unto our heavenly Father - who because of Jesus - loves each of us like that. Ray never called one child his favorite without calling the others that too! In Ray's eyes - each of them really was his favorite.
In God the Father's eyes, each of us is His 'favored' child as well.
John, the Beloved disciple, knew he was loved by Jesus and he told anyone and everyone - just like Ray's kids did! And like John, the Beloved, they believed it too!
In our society we've been taught to never play 'favorites' with our children or grandchildren. But after hearing that family's testimony from another perspective, I'm going to consider this carefully and put into action that same kind of 'favored love' toward my children and grandchildren that our heavenly Father lavishes on us.
How about you? Will you play 'favorites', giving each one your 'favored love'?
Choosing JOY,

The Power of Love

Celine Dion and Huey Lewis both sang about it; the power of love. What power does love have? Can love really change anything? Or is it just a sweet notion that ebbs and flows with our mood?

Many people are familiar with the classic wedding passage:

Love it Patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13 NIV

There is scarcely a church wedding today without it. Yet, do we really apply these truths about love to our family?

With February comes Valentine’s Day and it is the time of red hearts and “love.” Many women’s magazines will come out with questionnaires this month to see how you rate on the “Love” quotient. But the values shared in these magazines often do not represent the Biblical view. Here is how the Message Bible translates the same verses in contemporary language:

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle.
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything.
Trusts God always
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies…. We have three things to do to lead us….Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Love doesn’t fly off the handle? Puts up with anything? Always looks for the best? How would my marriage change if I could implement these things into my life? How would yours? And our parenting, how would that change if we could always be patient and kind? How about relationships in the office, could they improve by showing them God’s example of love? The Bible paints the perfect picture of love. All we have to do is read it…and do it. All the advice from every women’s magazine in the world won’t make your life any better than the advice from God.
For God so LOVED the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16, 17 NIV

God loved us so much that he let his Son die for us. That is so powerful. Yet, even though I am a Christian I can’t even seem to love my family enough to be patient, enough to be kind, and certainly not enough to “put up with anything.”

This February I will try to reflect on God’s perfect love for me as I try to improve on my own love for my family. I challenge you to do the same. And have a happy Valentine’s Day!

Like Digging For Gold

LIKE DIGGING FOR GOLD

My son, perseve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight. Proverbs 3:21

"Wes hit me." My daughter reported this incident about her brother with tears in her eyes.

"Did you hit Jenny?" I asked Wes.

"No, I didn’t," he said, with a look of total innocence in his eyes.

"Then why is she crying?"

"It’s not because I hit her."

Both my seven year old son and four year old daughter were either telling the truth (which couldn’t be happening) or were playing their roles so convincingly that I didn’t know which one to believe. Jenny was in tears so something obviously had happened. She convinced me that Wes had hit her. But Wes spoke with such conviction that he didn’t hit his sister I wanted to believe him, too.

One thing Cheryl and I learned with little kids is that you have to keep asking questions. At a very young age children learn the power of language. They can convince mom and dad they need ice cream and persuade grandma and grandpa they need seconds all with the power of words. Too young they develop techniques of manipulation that wrap us around their little fingers.

One of my two kids was working some of these techniques on me this day. Was it the one crying or the one declaring innocence?

From Cheryl I learned that you have to keep digging. Getting information from children is comparable to searching for gold in the side of a mountain: you have to dig, examine the evidence you unearth, evaluate it, and then dig some more, continuing to repeat the process. Over time, you may find some gold. And truth.

I felt like a prosecutor in the courtroom cross-examining a witness. I had some basic evidence and I had two eye witnesses, though they were giving conflicting testimony. I had to try a different tack.

Wes, why don’t you just show me what happened to your sister. Notice this wasn’t a question, it was an invitation to action. "Show me." Wes opened his hand and swung it through the air. "Is that what you did to Jenny?" I asked.

"Yes."

"That is hitting. Why did you tell me you didn’t hit her if you did?"

"No dad, that isn’t hitting, that is slapping. Hitting is if you make a fist and punch someone. I wouldn’t do that to my sister."

In the next several minutes my four and seven year old received vocabulary and ethics lessons. They were so young to learn the words ‘nuance’ and ‘semantics,’ but if they were old enough to play the game, they were old enough understand the significance of it. The ethics lesson was about truth and honesty, and not misrepresenting either by fancy play with words. This particular lesson was buttressed with some punishment.

This conversation was a great breakthrough for me as a father, because since this incident I’ve observed not only my three, but many other children, control a conversation through semantic play, withholding vital information, and playing ignorant. A parent need not panic if they realize this kind of competitive sparring is going on in conversations with their children. It is normal and natural. It means the kids are thinking through situations, are learning to use the language in creative ways, and are forcing their parents to parent.

You read that last line correctly. When children engage in language manipulation, they force us to parent. For the good of our children, for the integrity of the home, for the continued respect for our authority and role as dad and mom, we must engage the communication process with our kids. For me to have dismissed my two kids that day with, "Oh, just get out of here and stop it" would have left my daughter with a sense of injustice and my son with a sense of victory. Both kids would also have learned that with proper nuancing of terms and manipulative techniques they could by with anything. Respect for their mom and me would have diminished.

I had to enter the verbal contest, search for the nugget of truth, and act on the nugget I discovered. In the process I spent time with my kids and was able to teach them the value of purity of heart and honesty of communication.

When we slow down enough to spend time with our kids in these kinds of conversations, they learn something besides the topic under discussion. They learn that mom and dad will take the time to talk to them and reach the truth. They learn the value of integrity. They learn judgment and discernment. They learn how to behave properly. And they learn that mom and dad love them.

Warren Baldwin

Note: Thanks to Christina for sparking my memory and giving me the idea for this post with her very good article, "Wasn’t My Fault" on her blog, Change of Plans.